Friday, August 29, 2008

Stuff on a stick


Do you know your Nutty Buddies from your Klondikes? Take the Frozen Treats Quiz (via Blog on a Toothpick) I scored a melty 10 out of 20. Back to the freezer for some more studying, I guess.

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So long, art school! Hello, dog pound!

At last! Help for the budding, yet struggling artist is on the way! (hint: dogs are involved)
How to Draw Anything (In One Step) (via kottke.org)




You know those "Dogs Playing Poker" paintings? The original artist was Cassius Coolidge, who painted a series of them in the early part of the 20th century. Galleries and more at DogsPlayingPoker.org.


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Gimme one masterpiece to go! And step on it!


Mythbusters hosts Adam and Jamie (with some help from their little friend) "draw" the Mona Lisa in 80 milliseconds.

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Real or 'Shopped?

Photoshop Quiz
Created By Their Toys

Take The Photoshop Challenge. Look at 30 images and click whether they are untouched photos or "Photoshopically enhanced".

I did only slightly better than plain guessing, so I am officially lame and gullible.



BONUS PHOTOSHOP PHOOLERY!

The 12 Worst Photoshop Mistakes Ever



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Nothing to see here, folks







"Camouflage", a series by photographer Liu Bolin, has Chinese men and women painted to blend in with their surroundings. Many more at Galerie Bertin-Toublanc (you will want to click the thumbnails to embiggen). (via UniqueDaily)

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Friday, August 22, 2008

Today's Totally Real, Not-From-The-Onion Headline


Ladies and Gentlemen, the following actual headline is not, I repeat NOT from The Onion:

Runaway Giant Inflatable Dog Turd Wreaks Havoc in Switzerland


Again, this headline is not from The Onion.

That is all.

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

I heard that Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2's mom totally grounded her after she went out with Pineapple Express




Mate-A-Movie 13 is the latest batch of what you get when you cross two movies that have no business being together. Previous Mate-A-Movie galleries here, or just browse Worth1000 for other Photoshop phoolery. (via List of the Day)



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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Quiz time

Using a series of clues, can you...?


Name That City




Name That Disease




Name That Drug




Name That Serial Killer
(via Look At This...)

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Sad news for penguin-based comedy enthusiasts...

Ever see some of those kooky viral videos on YouTube and wonder
a) Are they for real?
and
b) Of course not. So how did they do it?

Example #1 Penguin Slap



Example #2 Catching Glasses



So what's the deal on stuff like this? Is it the real deal, Lucille? The answers lie with Captain Disillusion, who breaks down the mechanics of how to manipulate images to produce these "unbelievable" videos. Don't be put off by the wacky facepaint, think of it as sort of a superhero disguise...



So far the good Captain has debunked nearly a dozen videos that have made the rounds, including the Haiti UFO that was big in the news last year.

You can see 'em all at the Captain Disillusion channel.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

She's a SUPER cheap date. Plus, her breath smells absolutely fantastic!


The girl who can only eat Tic-Tacs and nine other People with Unbelievable Medical Conditions. (via Kottke)

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"And the award for best consonant in a movie title goes to..."

Can you guess the movie from looking at just one letter from its poster?

Great googly-moogly, no. I think I can get about three. Maybe. Okay, I got 13 out of 43, which is still pretty bad, I think. Any cinephiles out there want to give this a go? If you get stuck, click on the letter to see the answer.

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Monday, August 18, 2008

Move along, nothing to see here...


Really? The nude guy in the banana mask playing with explosives? Again?! How many times have we seen this tired old trope? Come on, William Lamson! Give us something we haven't seen 8,000 times already! (via Everlasting Blort)

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

But... but.... but...

Inexplicably, there are suddenly cat butts all over my interwebs.

Amazon offers Cat Butt Magnets plus a bonus book, The North American Cat Butts Field Guide.


Would you dare to eat Cat Butt Raspberry Sour Candy?


There is a Cat Butt Museum (no, I do not make this stuff up, how could you ask such a thing?), ready and willing to sell you any number of paintings, drawings, sketches and posters of, well, you know. Plus, in their online store, they also sell trés useful items like:


Cat Butt Coasters


and


Cat Butt Pencil Sharpener
, which makes me a little ill, but hang in there, we're nearing the... oh never mind.

Lastly, consider purchasing one of these fine products, because nothing says "I'm cleaned up and ready for dinner!" like retrieving your bathroom hand towel from the crack of a cat's ass. Ladies, gentlemen, cat-keister-fetishists, I bring you Cloth-Cat. (via Zomg Redunculous!)




And just to not leave out the dog(butt) lovers entirely, the canine equivalent is available as well.




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He would have also added "and make sure it sounds like we really mean it" except he ran out of space


You'd be surprised at how many ways there are to screw up a cake. Cake Wrecks has seen 'em all. (via MonkeyFilter)

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Saturday, August 09, 2008

Ever since Two Men and a Giant Rubber Band closed down, they haven't seen much competition


This is you, hard at work getting through another day at the Trebuchet Moving Company, moving kind old grandmotherly types into their ramshackle one-wall homes.

No one knows why (or even how) they construct houses with only one wall, or why anyone would want to attempt to live in these domiciles that have structural support with the tensile strength of a used Kleenex. Then again, you work for a company that thinks the most efficient way to move furniture is via a glorified slingshot, so who are you to criticize?

Oh well, it's a living, so they say.

Click once to launch the trebuchet, click again to release the piece of furniture. The closer you land it to your target spot, the more points you score. Play Trebuchet Moving Company.



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Friday, August 08, 2008

Master Ninja Theme Song!


"Ninja" Sighting Shuts Down NJ School




Unusually Soft & Fuzzy Ninjas






Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again




What do you get when you cross Western film icon Lee Van Cleef passing himself as the world's oldest, most easily-winded ninja with one of the dimmer bulbs in the Van Patten acting family who mumbles his lines to the point of unintelligibility?

Why, you'd get the early 80s TV action show Master Ninja! Kind of a poor man's A-Team. Only with ninjas. And without Mister T, or James Peppard, or a budget that surpassed four figures. It did however have a sweet-ass Mystery Machine-esque custom van that Timothy Van Patten drove around throughout the series which the ladies seemed to dig.

The series would possibly have faded into total obscurity were it not for Mystery Science Theater 3000, the cult show which features a man and two robots making fun of cheesy movies. The show featured the first two volumes of the re-edited Master Ninja tapes on episodes 322 (originally aired January 11, 1992) and 324 (originally aired January 25, 1992). Featuring the first four episodes, Joel Robinson and the 'bots (Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot) mercilessly mocked the series. Notable jokes included jabs at Lee Van Cleef's gut disappearing whenever his stunt double was onscreen, and at Timothy Van Patten's muffled speech pattern. The fact that Demi Moore guest-starred on the first episode in an early role provided more fertile joke material.

For the morbidly curious, the MST3K episode where they skewer Master Ninja I is available in 5 parts on the YouTubes. I must warn you that once you hear the haunting "Master Ninja Theme Song!" as sung by Joel and the 'bots, it will take ninja-like mental powers to purge it from your mind.


Mystery Science Theater 3000 "Master Ninja I" Part 1 of 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 "Master Ninja I" Part 2 of 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 "Master Ninja I" Part 3 of 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 "Master Ninja I" Part 4 of 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 "Master Ninja I" Part 5 of 5

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Man, your girlfriend is built! No, really. I mean she was literally built.



What is it with the Brits? Is the dental hygeine on your average English bird that hideous that they were forced to resort to
and

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I think he took the concept of "Street Viewing" a little too literally

Google Maps Street View is really useful when you want a virtual tour of a city, and sometimes the Google van takes some unexpected pictures. There are plenty of "Best of Street View" sites out there, but you know, mostly the pics are sort of... meh.

I do kinda like this one, though: Drunk Guy Passed Out on the Curb.

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Friday, August 01, 2008

In other baseball news...

Recently I mentioned the fact that in 1970, Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher and all-around bad-boy Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter, despite the fact that he was tripping on acid at the time he did it.

The next day I heard from one of my brethren-in-blogging, John M., who dispenses indispensable info over at Uncertain Times. Back in March, he also posted about "Dock Ellis' Excellent Adventure", which has another funny Dock story, plus a link to a piece that Weekend America did on it. Check it out here.

I have been recommending to friends the Chuck Brodsky CD The Baseball Ballads (2002) for years, but I don't know if I ever mentioned it here. If you like baseball, or offbeat history, or offbeat baseball history, this might be right in your strike zone, as it were. Brodsky is a huge baseball fan, and the CD is filled with songs concerning some of the more fascinating footnotes in baseball history.



Some of these you may already know the story on, but they are really good songs, too.

Examples:
"The Ballad of Eddie Klepp" - Pitched for the Cleveland Buckeyes in 1946 as the first white man to play in the Negro Leagues.

"Bonehead Merckle" - In 1908 Fred Merkle learned that you can be a decent slugger, hit doubles all day long and even make it to the playoffs. But forget to touch one little base and you never hear the end of it...

"Moe Berg: The Song" - MLB catcher, coach, spy... a/k/a "the brainiest guy in baseball"

In addition, now there's a new CD out from The Baseball Project -- i.e. REM's Peter Buck, Scott McCaughey from The Young Fresh Fellows and a couple other cats as well. The CD is Volume 1: Frozen Ropes and Dying Quails. I haven't heard much of it, but it's in the same vein.



Some song titles:

"Harvey Haddix" - On May 26, 1959, pitched 12 2/3 perfect innings against the Milwaukeee Braves, only to end up losing the game 1-0 on the last batter.

"The Yankee Flipper" - a/k/a Jack McDowell, who flipped off the fans at Yankee Stadium after being booed off the field after getting bombed by the White Sox on July 18, 1995 in the second game of a doubleheader.

"Ted Fracking Williams" (well, that's what the title would be on Battlestar Galactica, at least) - I gather the old Tedster was a bit hard to like.

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Here be monsters. And over there be a good spot to catch bluegill, if ye get there before the jet-ski folken get out there...


List of reported lake monsters around the world. Really? The countries of France, Germany, Finland, Poland and Switzerland have zero lake monsters while here in the U S of A, we've got lake monsters in 39 out of the 50 states? Hell, Utah has eight (count 'em, eight) lake monsters all to themselves.

Really, the only competition to the US seems to be coming from two places. Scotland is one, obviously. Not only do they have that one at Loch Ness that you just maybe have heard of, Scotland also has at least ten other lake monsters, including two both named Lizzie and the cute little Wee Oichy.

The other country pretty much overrun with lake creatures is Sweden for some reason, which boasts 28 different lake monsters.

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