Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Ye Olde Robottes

A fascinating history or some 19-century attempts at mechanical men. Read about The Electric Man, The Steam Man and The Automatic Man. Most interesting perhaps is the story of Boilerplate. Did he really serve in three wars and save the life of Pancho Villa? If this is a hoax, it's a very well-done one.

(via Slashdot)

Best of The Simpsons?

Some of the wittier lines from The Simpsons.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

A touching story for the season

This moving tale of hope and courage brought a small tear to my eye.

(via Sarcasmo's Corner)

Gimme an A!

Alphabet found on butterfly wings and on the surface of human brains.

(brains link via The Presurfer)

If it sounds too good to be true...

My friend Marc recently forwarded me one of those email scams where supposedly Bill Gates and Microsoft are testing some new email tracking system, and would pay big bucks if you forward the email to 10 of your friends. There are a ton of these that have appeared in recent years, so when I gently informed him not to expect a check from Big Bill anytime soon, he joked that he was planning to use the money to buy some hot new swampland he had heard about.

He must have been talking about this.

But wait, Marc!! There's more!!

I can get you great deals on the following:
The Moon! (1 acre)
Venus! (1 acre)
Mars! (1 acre)
Scotland! (1 square inch)
Maine! (1 square inch)
Texas! (1 square foot)
The Ocean Floor! (1 square inch)
Australia! (1 square inch)
An English haunted house! (1 square foot)

Still trying to get you a bridge in Brooklyn, but I'll keep looking...

Friday, December 12, 2003

Bread! Wonderful, magnificent, exciting bread!!

Lilek's takes us through the thrilling Story of Bread, aided by the fairly scary Miss Sunbeam. Bread! If it's good enough for cavemen and the men who built your house, it's good enough for you!

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I've suffered for my art... Now it's your turn

Click your way into the Louvre with Mr. Picassohead!

(via Itchy Robot)

Monday, December 08, 2003

Details are still sketchy...

It's the Etch-A-Sketch art gallery. I have found that even virtually I can barely etch (or sketch) a straight line, but at least now I know how they work.

Plastination Nation

Plastic people
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag
- Frank Zappa - "Plastic People"

Well you should see Polythene Pam
She's so good-looking but she looks like a man
Well you should see her in drag dressed in her polythene bag
Yes you should see Polythene Pam.
Yeah yeah yeah

- The Beatles - "Polythene Pam"

Thursday, December 04, 2003

You'll shoot your eye out!

December's here, and that means I can drag out my copy of A Christmas Story and watch it with impunity. Now don't get me wrong. I've watched ACS in the sweltering heat of August, but there's just something secretly embarrassing about watching a Christmas movie out-of-season. Someone unexpectedly drops by the house while the tape is playing, you almost feel like you got caught watching porn or something...

Speaking of which (and they don't call me The King of Segues for nothin'), did you know that Scotty Schwartz, who played Flick in "A Christmas Story" had such a difficult time finding work in mainstream film is now working in, uhh... "the adult film industry"? Recent efforts include New Wave Hookers 5, Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 35 and the clearly superior Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 36. Post your own joke about getting his tongue stuck to a pole here...

The Shaggs Love You!

"The Shaggs. Better than the Beatles--even today." - Frank Zappa
"They bring my mind to a complete halt." - Carla Bley

"Maybe the best worst rock album ever made." - New York Times

A musical about the Shaggs and their one-of-a-kind music-like sounds. Their 1969 album Philosophy of the World included such gems as "Who Are Parents?", "My Companion" and the ode to their cat "My Pal Foot Foot"(listen and be amazed!). Check out www.shaggs.com for all manner of things Shaggs.

(via Scrubbles)

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

What's better than a real live monkey of your very own?

A dead monkey. Lots of dead monkeys, actually. (via Metaphilia)
Speaking of dead monkeys, it's time to revisit the deceased simian cinematic classics with Dead Monkey Theatre!

Friday, November 28, 2003

Pretzels, Microbes, Boogers, Nimrods, Fighting Artichokes and Gasbags

An incredible database of high school, college and pro sports team nicknames. Are they missing your old alma mater's? Let them know and they'll add it. (via a thread from SportsShooter) A much less exhaustive list can be found here, included only because it includes some more detail on the origins of some of the nicknames. Finally, a list of someone's Top Ten Mascots, the highlight being the great photo of the UC-Santa Cruz Banana Slug.

PS. It's the Freeport (IL) Pretzels, Waterloo (IA) Microbes, Bonham (TX) Boogers, Watersmeet (MI) Nimrods, Scottsdale (AZ) Artichokes, and the Iola (MO) Gasbags

Leggo my logos!

Bushparty looks at some of the ugliest hockey team logos ever. (via Cardhouse), and ESPN explores the good, bad and ugly in NFL/NBA/NHL/MLB logos.

Your words, someone else's mouth

Type in something and have pop stars sing it for you.

(via Memepool)

Thursday, November 27, 2003

It could have been worse... It could have been Diet

Those goofs over at Jones Soda have really done it this time.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

J-Walked Links, Baker and Footnotes

Allow me for a moment to rave about fellow blogger John Walkenbach and his continually amusing and amazing blog J-Walk. I can't count1 the number of links I've hijacked from him since the inception of this humble little space. But a few of the recent gems he's turned me on to include The Book of Ratings, The Dullest Blog In The World and The Telephone EXchange Name Project (complete with Bell Telephone's 1955 Guidelines for Telephone Exchanges)2

The other morning I was lurking around some of the more backwater pages of J-Walk (I, of course mean that in the nicest possible way) and found that John is also a very big fan of one of my favorite authors, Nicholson Baker. Baker's The Mezzanine is a small treasure, with the entire storyline set in a single lunch hour of our protagonist. The plot is pretty slim (he heads out for lunch, breaks a shoelace while tying, buys a box of popcorn, a hot dog, milk and cookie and stops at a local drugstore to buy a pair of replacement shoelaces). How can someone write a whole book about that?! Yet The Mezzanine manages to shoehorn in enough humor, amusing observation and footnotes3 to make it a great read.

1Okay, I probably could count them, but that seems a little too anal-retentive even for me

2I currently have a SYcamore1 phone exchange, which has an appropriately '1950's ring* to it. I recall that at a house my buddy and I rented for a while, we usually gave out the phone number as GAG-DOG1, which while fairly memorable, created at least one slightly embarrasing situation. It seems that one of our friends was trying to call our number, but was having trouble getting through. She called the operator for assistance and when asked for the number she was trying to reach, said friend realized she never bothered to learn the number itself. Sheepishly she admitted she was trying to call GAG-DOG1, much to the amusement of the operator.

3Did I mention the footnotes? This may be the record-holder for the most footnotes in a single work of fiction. And not just those cryptic little ibids and the like, but gloriously detailed footnotic ramblings often sprawling on to the following page, ranging from his musings on the decline of the drinking straw once they changed from paper to plastic to the argument against hot-air blowers in bathrooms vs. the traditional paper towel.

*Pun probably intended

Friday, November 21, 2003

I'm guessing using duct tape would be considered cheating...

How long can you Hold The Button??!!

(via Bifurcated Rivets)

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

AuWa!! ItAi!! Pupu!!

Don't desert me
Please don't hurt me

The Rutles -- "Ouch!"

The exclamations in the title might look weird, but they're really just the equivalent linguistic counterpart for "Ouch!" or "Ow!" in English (North American English, anyway). By the way, the three listed above are Polish, Japanese and Basque, respectively.

Monday, November 17, 2003

I can see my house from here

The panoramic map was a popular cartographic form used to depict U.S. and Canadian cities and towns during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Known also as bird's-eye views, perspective maps, and aero views, panoramic maps are nonphotographic representations of cities portrayed as if viewed from above at an oblique angle. Although not generally drawn to scale, they show street patterns, individual buildings, and major landscape features in perspective.

A collection of over 1,700 U.S. and Canadian panoramic maps from 1847-1929.

(via Neat New Stuff on the Net)

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Writer's cramp to the power of infinity

A while back I mentioned a cool way to show the time online with HumanClock.com. Another nifty variation here in this handwritten clock.

(via Pop Culture Madness)

Friday, November 14, 2003

"I've looked at castles from both sides now..."

If you're in the real estate biz, castles can be a real tough sell. Hot in the summer, impossible to heat in the winter, and who wants to maintain a moat in this day and age? Not to mention defending it from every marauding yahoo that decides to lay siege in your front yard. For all you castle owners out there, Castle from XGenStudios lets you vent the frustration.

And on the other side of the coin, there's Catapult. (Shockwave plug-in required for both games)

They can't all be a Sgt. Pepper's...

But then again, they can't all be as bad as these. The Worst Album Covers Ever (Volumes 1 and 2) (submitted by Brian "Booji Boy" Holt)

But that's just an appetizer. For the full nine-course banquet in bad album cover art, feast your eyes at BizarreRecords.com.

To cosmically balance things out, and to cleanse your palate after the horror mentioned above, here are Rolling Stone magazine's 50 Best Album Covers.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

"Attention, shoppers"

You know, there are still 42 shopping days until Christmas.

Even so, you may be scurrying around from shop to shop Christmas Eve, desperately searching for that last "perfect gift". Trust me, no matter how tempted you may be, I really, really, REALLY don't want this. Really.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Break out the tetrahydrozoline

Although I hear it just missed entry as a recognized Olympic sport, staring contests are making quite a comeback. Have a chance to stare down Sally, a big cyber-eyeball, or a host of others. At least doing it online is safer than in person.

And if your peepers are still up for it after their workout, confuse 'em with these.

P.S. Whaddaya mean, "What's tetrahydrozoline?"

Saturday, November 01, 2003

A little something for you Mac users

"Microsoft programs are generally bug-free. If you visit the Microsoft hotline,
you'll literally have to wait weeks if not months until someone calls in with
a bug in one of our programs. 99.99% of calls turn out to be user mistakes.
I know not a single less irrelevant reason for an update than bugfixes.
The reasons for updates are to present more new features."
-- Bill Gates, on code stability, from Focus Magazine

"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
-- Bill Gates on the solid code base of Win9X

It's here! The latest and grea... well, the latest anyways... from Microsoft. It's Windows RG (Really Good Edition)!

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Flyin' Digits!

More than you could ever hope to learn about... THE FINGER. The history of, how to give it (both here in the U.S. of A. and abroad), famous fingers, etc. Want more? Buy the book. Two thumbs (or fingers) up!

(via The Straight Dope)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

A-Negative Message

Sure, there are those among us who say that words are fleeting and ephemeral until they're committed to paper, but if you really want permanent, you try getting Bloody Finger Email stains out of the carpet.

...I only went as the Village People Leather Guy because they were sold out of Village People Indian Guy

Worst Halloween costumes. Ever.

Funky Punkins

From the home page of ExtremePumpkins.com:

At what point did the carving of pumpkins turn into a "cute" event? When did boys stop carving pumpkins and moms start? Where did we lose touch with one of the years coolest events?

Today we will seize back this ritual. Today is the day we throw away those safe, cute carving tools. Today. We will buy a big, ugly, pumpkin so large one man cannot lift or move it. Today. We will carve that sumbitch into something ugly and plop it on the front porch. October 31st we will light it brightly enough to give visiting children suntans.

Puking pumpkins, pimply pumpkins, pyrotechnic pumpkins... get carvin'! More pumpkin creativity can be found at Phrenopolis.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Sweet & Sour

I was saddened and then delighted in the course of about sixty seconds.

The sad news is that Fred "Rerun" Berry died Tuesday. For those of us old enough to remember the 70's sitcom "What's Happening!!", it was cool to see him again in trademark red beret and suspenders last April in an episode of NBC's Scrubs.

Now for the part I like: Fred was one of the celebrities doing on-demand phone calls for the new service HollywoodIsCalling.com. For $30, any one of a number of Hollywood celebrities will call you or a friend and deliver a brief customized message. Okay, so most of them aren't exactly A-List (Ron "Horshack" Palillo, anyone?), but whaddaya want for thirty clams?

"Quite a few butterflies prefer urine... to flowers."

So says The New Jersey Audon Society. And they're not the only ones who think this. Apparently, butterflies enjoy the salts and minerals found in animal urine. And of course, where there's a need, there's someone like the guys at PredatorPee.com ready to sell to that market.

You wanna attract butterflies? Then you're gonna want to pick up ButterflyPee.

What's that? You don't care about creating a friendly environment for those Hickory Hairstreaks, Black Checkerspots and their Lepidoptera brethren? All you want to do is keep the neighbor's dog or cat out of your tomatoes? Sounds like you need maybe a little WolfPee or BobcatPee.

While you're out in your garden in a urine-soaked frenzy, put a little GrowPee on them 'maters, why dontcha? Better than Miracle-Gro, I hear... If you love the smell of pee in the morning (it smells like.... victory!), tear that pine tree air freshener off your rear-view mirror and put in one of these.

(via Bifurcated Rivets)

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Spying By Numbers

Ever since I read in William Poundstone's Big Secrets about the mysterious so-called "numbers stations" found on the shortwave radio band, I've found them oddly fascinating.

For those who don't know what a numbers station is, Salon ran a fairly informative article on them several years ago. Here's a bit from the article:

Twisting the dial of your shortwave radio, you come across the most "experimental" sounding station you've ever heard. A glockenspiel tune is followed by the voice of a little girl speaking numbers and letters in what sounds like a random order. A techno DJ's pirate radio remix? Performance art? No, you've stumbled across a "numbers station," and the message inside the madness just wasn't meant for you. Somewhere in the world, a government spook, maybe CIA, MI6 or Mossad, is furiously scrawling down the numbers on a pad, a decoding key open at his side.

More details, links and audio clips (which I find unnervingly creepy for some reason) can be found here and here, for starters.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Albums minus words. Movies minus people.

In an effort to distract myself from the pain and depression of tonight's elimination of the Chicago Cubs from the playoffs, I tested my album cover artwork knowledge with the Album Cover Challenge over at meish.org. I managed to identify an anemic 11 right. How did you do?

If you are more of a film buff, try the Invisibles Quizzes at FilmWise. After taking of couple of the Invisibles Quizzes, personally, I'll stick to the album covers, thanks...

(via Sarcasmo's Corner)

Monday, October 13, 2003

Don't do the virtual crime if you can't do the virtual time

You say you're gonna be spending some quality time in one of the UK's fine prisons? But you're a bit anxious because you don't know what to expect? Well, fret no more, mate. The UK prison system offers a virtual tour of what to expect, from the moment you step in to the day (however far into the future that may be) that you get out. Funny, they seem to have left sodomization and taking a shank to the ribs in the yard out. Must just be an oversight... (via Techdirt)

And of course, once you arrive, it also helps to know the lingo. Enjoy your stay!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Not Atomic Kitten, but an incredible simulation!

Tribute City is a tribute page to... well, tribute bands. Entries include 41 Beatles knockoffs (personal favorite name: Beat The Meetles) and the usual assortment of Dylan and Doors clones. Not just one, but two all-female KISS tribute bands, and if you can sing, play guitar and fake a British accent, Spinal Pap needs a new (lead singer) Nigel Tufnel! Amazingly, the drummer position is still currently filled. You know how that band goes through drummers...

Monday, October 06, 2003

X-Ray Specs! Sea Monkeys!

Remember all those ads in the back of comic books when you were a kid? Did you ever order the ant farm (complete with stock of live ants!) or were you more the Junior Achiever-type that sold stuff to your unsuspecting relatives and neighbors for crappy prizes? Stuff like Christmas cards, the ever popular Grit magazine (go, Gritboy!) or maybe even salve. Yes, I said salve. Kids. Selling salve. Door to door. Salve.

And what's the deal with the miniature dogs and monkeys? Were these the real deal or were they just dolls or what? What did you really see when you look ed through those X-Ray Glasses? So many questions, so little time...

The one thing I do remember ordering was the Very Special People book. In fact, I still have it. Great stuff on John "The Elephant Man" Merrick, Robert Wadlow: "The World's Tallest Man" and Grace McDaniels a/k/a "The Mule-Faced Woman", and others.

(via Scrubbles)

Friday, October 03, 2003

"Hello, OnStar? This is Frodo Baggins."

Because GPS technology was notoriously unreliable in Middle Earth, Frodo most likely printed out walking directions to Mordor.

(via Margi Lowry)

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

VIRUS ALERT!!!1!!1!!

Finally, one of those email virus "warnings" I can enjoy...

(via defective yeti)

Monday, September 29, 2003

Reasons to love your job

And you thought you had to take a lot of crap from people at your job. The worst jobs in science.

(via Neat New Stuff on the Net)

It was actually the Big Bird feather hanging from the roach clip that tipped them off...

Five-year-old girl shows class how to make a bong in show-and-tell. Hijinks ensue.

(via Google News)

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Huff(and puff)ington, Schwarz-uhhhh-negger and pals

Language Removal Services takes recordings of political speeches, removes the words and leaves nothing but the "umm"s, "uh"s and "err"s. Here they do their magic on some of the leading California gubernatorial candidates.

(via Boing Boing)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Noo Alfabets

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? - Steven Wright

When playwright George Bernard Shaw died in 1950, he bequeathed most of his fortunes to developing an alternative to the alphabet of the English language, an alphabet composed of at least forty letters to account for each of the possible sounds produced in English without all the crazy spelling variances. The resulting competition brought forth hundreds of new alphabet proposals. The Shaw Alphabet submitted by Kingsley Read was announced the winner. Another proposed alphabet, Unifon, was a close runner-up.

More interesting stuff on alphabets and their origins at Omniglot

(via Metafilter)

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...

umm... Oh, no wait... it's just Angle Grinder Man.

(via Metafilter)

With A Name Like...

Funny, I haven't seen any of this brand on the shelf at my local supermarket.

Terrified of running out of toilet paper? Sure, you could get a double dispenser, but if you're a self-respecting geek, you'll still need a TP usage algorithm. Hmmm, this is getting a little complicated. How about just getting a little bit bigger roll?

(all links after first one via The Presurfer)

My new desktop wallpaper

Could it be The Greatest Rock-n-roll Photo Ever Taken?

The shot, taken in a 1969 Cash concert at San Quentin after a photographer asked Cash for a shot "for the warden".

The pic resurfaced in 1998 when Cash took out a full-page ad in Billboard. Disappointed at the industry's reluctance to play his newer music, the photo appeared with the following cation placed squarely above Cash's middle finger: "American Recordings and Johnny Cash would like to acknowledge the Nashville music establishment and country radio for your support."

Johnny Cash may be in the Country section at Best Buy, but deep down he was all rock-n-roll, baby...

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Why Sharing Music Doesn't Feel Like Theft

Syndicated tech columnist Larry Magid wrote an interesting piece on why, to many of us, downloading music through a file-sharing program like Kazaa or iMesh just doesn't feel like stealing. In spite of the Recording Industry Association of America's argument that downloading copyrighted music is equivalent to walking into a record store and stealing a CD, music downloading is as popular as ever.

(via Techdirt)

Friday, September 12, 2003

Oh boy! A lil' web log!

Hey you! Go see Mad Ape Den. It is a web log, but not too big, as you can see. Oh, how wee of a web log it is!

(Translation: You should check out the amusing Mad Ape Den. Each post is composed of 3-letter or shorter words. Why? Whaddaya mean why? Like climbing Everest (on a motorcycle) or going for the free 72 oz. steak... because it's there, man, because it's there!)

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

...But some phones are already smarter than their owners

Researchers at Carnegie-Mellon University are working on a smarter, more polite cell phone. Phones that will ring loudly if you're in a noisy environment, or vibrate when they're in your pants pocket. Phones that will sense when you are conversing with someone and text back the caller telling them that you are busy right now, but if it is urgent they could try back within three minutes.

Sounds like these Indian cell phone owners should have volunteered for beta testing...

(via Ars Technica)

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

A bottle of red/ A bottle of white

It all depends upon your appetite...

See yourself as a sophisticated, discerning, erudite man-or-woman-about-town? Here's every Esquire cover dating back to its 1933 founding. (via Scrubbles)

For the rest of us, I guess we can just enjoy every Mad Magazine cover since its inception in 1952. I always did like Don Martin best, anyway. Great sound effects.

A Rare View of 9/11, Overlooked

Like the Zapruder film, someone happened to be pointing their camera in the right place to document a pivotal moment in history. From this New York Times story (free registration required), an immigrant worker from the Czech Republic was riding in the passenger seat of an SUV, videotaping a video postcard to send home when he taped the approach and impact of the first airplane into the North Twin Tower. This is only the second known footage of the first plane hitting the tower. He continued filming the aftermath and taped the second plane as it hit the South Tower as well.

There is a link on the page to an audio slide show, with stills from the video and commentary.

(via Metafilter)

Friday, September 05, 2003

A Boy Named Peggy

How many clothespins could you attach to your face? 10? 20? 70? Not even close.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Dancing Baby? All Your Base? Stop it, I'm getting all misty...

Internet fads of days not-too-gone by.

(via A Blog Doesn't Need A Clever Name)

No word yet on whether ZZ Topp will enter

The World Beard and Moustache Championships come to the US this year. Take the weekend off and head out to Carson City, NV for the November 1, 2003 event. Watch current world champ Willi Chevalier defend his title!

For those of us that still occasionally like to take the newpaper and pencil in bad facial hair on the photos, check out the official categories for the event.

(via Ishbadiddle)

Saturday, August 30, 2003

Night Dawn Day Mid-to-late Afternoon Of The Living Dead

It's good to know that not all of this country's top scientific minds are locked up in the Pentagon, working on bigger and better ways to blow ourselves up. Not with our rampant zombie problem staring us in the face! I mean, how many family vacations need be ruined by zombie infection before someone sits up and takes notice?! Finally, someone has come up with a simulated model of zombie infection for our busy cities. (Java required, but come on! Everybody has Java... only zombies don't have Java! You're not one of them there zombies are ya?!?!)

(via Memepool)

Friday, August 29, 2003

Now you just need to buy a little James Dean...

When ordinary bonsai loses its thrill, there's always Crash Bonsai.

(via Incoming Signals)

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

"Pop quiz, hotshot..."

Seems that six Brazilians were refused entry into Britain last Friday because they didn't know enough about the Beatles. No, really.

Arriving with a large group from Rio de Janero to visit Liverpool's Mathew Street Festival, which celebrates the lives of The Fab Four, these six were turned away because they couldn't provide correct answers to the immigration officials' Beatles quiz questions. From the article:

A spokesman for the Cavern Club Brazil, which organized the trip, said the group’s treatment had been “ridiculous and very upsetting.”

“They played songs and asked us to name them. They actually made people sing Beatles songs,” Fabiana Carvalho said. “Some of the young people don’t know that much about The Beatles — they are here to see the Brazilian bands, and to travel.”

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm flying to Topeka tomorrow and I really need to study the lyrics to "Dust In The Wind".

(submitted by Lou "She's Got a Tick In Her Eye" Campbell and Dave "The girl with colitis goes by" Postma)

"No wire hangers cocoa in summer, EVER!"

The Bacon Bowl, Dessert Corn, The Cardinal Beverage Rule and other weird food rules, as remembered by The Hungover Gourmet.

PS. If the title of this post makes no sense, then you obviously haven't been watching the right movies.

(via Coudal Partners)

Saturday, August 23, 2003

"Mom, when you're being mugged, do you ever feel... you know...not fresh?"

An amusing story of a fellow blogger's unusual defense tactics.

(via Iron Monkey)

Sunday, August 17, 2003


Citrus! Lots and lots of citrus. That's the key to running any successful pirate store. Gotta keep that scurvy at bay, ya know.

An actual store selling actual pirate supplies like eyepatches, hooks, treasure chests, lard (LARD?! Yes, lard... read the FAQ) and planks by the foot. Check out the fascinating world of Karl! Attend some of the events!

WARNING! Don't waste your time visiting their competitor, Captain Rick's Booty Cove, or you will be in for a world of heartache. And yes, probably even scurvy.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

One K

I just noticed that as of right now the site meter hit 1,000. Now for most blogs, this is small potatoes, but I think it's pretty cool.

Thanks everyone for visiting from time to time. Hope to see you again!


Everybody's heard of broadcasting. In a nutshell, it means to transmit a TV/radio program for mass consumption. You hope to capture as wide of an audience as you possibly can. Then there's narrowcasting. As defined by dictionary.com:
To transmit, as by cable, programs confined to the interests of a specific group of viewers, subscribers, or listeners, such as physicians, businesspeople, or teenagers.

With that in mind, I'm going to do a little narrowcasting. The only person who may enjoy this would be my good friend (Mary)Lou, who might actually remember a few of these. Here ya go, babe.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Pores? We don't need no steenkeen' pores!

A really incredible website about photo retouching. Pick one of the images and roll your mouse over it to see the original image before the airbrush went to work.

Pseudo-spoiler warning!
If you are someone who believes that those women in Maxim look like that in real life, you may not want to see the unvarnished version of the truth.

(via Information Junk)

Gimme a D! Gimme an E! Uh... Gimme a dictionary!

A recent study by ePodunk lists the 15 most misspelled cities in America. I can see most of these, but how in the heck are people misspelling Detroit?! Deetroyt? D-troit? Day-twah? Someone help me out here.

PS. Numbers 3 and 4 on the list still almost always trip me up. How 'bout you?

(via Information Junk)

Come on baby...Just a little kiss

Mini-KISS rocks the house in Atlanta.

(via Boing Boing)

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Who Let The Worms In?

There's nothing more annoying that getting a song stuck in your head and not being able to get rid of it. I for one was recently infected with a case of the horrific Neil Diamond audio turd "America" (On the boats and on the planes/ They're coming to America/ Today!), which pretty much ruined my whole day. Damn you, The Jazz Singer!

Scientists have nicknamed them "earworms". The "ear" part is obvious, the "worm" part having to do with the parasitic way they take up residence in your brain, resisting even the best efforts to dislodge it. The researchers found that 98% of us at one time or another have gotten a tune stuck on the brain, some of the more common offenders being "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men, Queen's "We Will Rock You" and the jingle for Kit-Kat candy bars ("Gimme a break").

A slightly older, but more detailed article on the phenomenon can be found here.

By the way, I've found that infecting someone else with your musical pox will often clear it out of your own head. So what earworms have bugged you?(via Bifurcated Rivets)

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Shifty Music

Who knew that a key change would get somebody this worked up?

From The Truck Driver's Gear Change Hall of Shame FAQ:

Many writers and arrangers feel that when their song is in risk of getting a bit tired, it can be given a fresh lease of life by shifting the whole song up a key, usually in between choruses, towards the beginning of a "repeat-till-fade" section. You may have heard this technique informally referred to as "modulation", but the correct ethnomusicological term for the phenomenon is the truck driver's gear change. This reflects the utterly predictable and laboured nature of the transition, evoking a tired and over-worked trucker ramming the gearstick into the new position with his – or, to be fair, her – fist.

Contrary to what many people seem to think, the truck driver's gear change is in no way inventive, interesting or acceptable: it is in fact an utterly appalling and unimaginative admission that you've run out of inspiration and the song should have ended one minute ago; but you're under pressure to make something which can be stretched out to the length of a single. The concept of the truck driver's gear change seems to transcend all musical styles, from Perry Como to The Misfits, although my investigations reveal that it's most prevalent in mainstream pop, and, let's face it, it's unlikely to feature in hip-hop. But who's to say.

He goes on to provide numerous audio clip examples from Michael Jackson, The Who, John Lennon, Barry Manilow and others. I have to say that I'll never be able to listen to the radio again without listening for the dreaded "gear shift".

About the only good modulation I can vouch for is in the amusing boy-band power-ballad deconstruction "Title Of The Song" by a capella funnymen Da Vinci's Notebook.

(via Crooked Timber)

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

You've got a face for radio. Or prison.

Scariest mugshot. Ever.
And the runners-up. (Use links on bottom of page to navigate)

Monday, August 11, 2003

You've Got The Look

Eric Conveys An Emotion. He takes requests, too.

What about "The Red-Headed Stranger"?

Hmm, what's this? Horticultural fan page for chrysanthemums? An ode to Mother? Think again.

Contribute to the ever-expanding list!

(via J-Walk)

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Livin' on Tulsa time

During this week, the Information Nation staff will be visiting the ancestral estates in temperate Tulsa, OK. Probably not much time for posting, what with all of these fun things to see 'n' do:

1. See all the locations in Tulsa where the "Weird Al" classic UHF was filmed

2. Locate and laugh at this bonehead

3. One word: Tulsarama!

4. Drive (cautiously, very cautiously) over to Dewey, OK to pay tribute to The Tom Mix Suitcase of Death

5. Throw in a request or two for some winning Lotto numbers at the Oral Roberts Prayer Tower (hey, it doesn't hurt to ask)

Friday, August 01, 2003


Personal hygeine vs. pain

(via Side Salad)

You're welcome...

Since I'm one of the 8% keeping the rest of you guys in the evolutionary game, I'll take my thank-yous in the form of Best Buy or Barnes & Nobles gift certificates, please.

I'll leave it a mystery as to which trait I have, though some might find that very sinister. From the article:

Humans have evolved incredibly since the dawn of time -- and we have color-blind, bald, left-handed and homosexual men to thank.

San Francisco surgeon Dr. Leonard Shlain figures that 8 percent of all men are either color blind, bald, left-handed or gay. Therefore, those traits must benefit the entire race -- or they would have died out by now.

For instance, color blind men have an advantage while hunting because they're less fooled by camouflage and left-handed male soldiers have an advantage over right-handers when fighting mano-a-mano.

Dr. Shlain thinks homosexuality probably evolved in hunting tribes to ensure that there would be more men to hunt for the food but wouldn't produce hungry offspring.

However, the doc admits he has yet to figure out the need for baldness since hair protects the brain against overheating.

(via Electric Venom)

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Now it can be told...

A really clever little movie on... typefaces?! Cute and funny.

(via House Arrest)

Death By Caffeine

How many cans of {your favorite caffeinated soft drink} does it take to kill you?

(via House Arrest)

Hello My Name is: Curly Bones McGee

Follow the instructions below for the genuine thrill that comes with discovering your blues name:

From the first list, take the name using the initial of your first name.

From the second list, do the same with your middle name. From the third, your surname.

First List

A=Fat; B=Muddy ; C=Crippled; D=Old; E=Texas; F=Hollerin'; G=Ugly; H=Brown;

I=Happy; J=Boney; K=Curly; L=Pretty; M=Jailhouse; N=Peg Leg; O=Red;

P=Sleepy; Q=Bald; R=Skinny; S=Blind; T=Big; U=Yella; V=Toothless;

W=Screamin'; X=Fat Boy; Y=Washboard; Z=Steel-Eye

Second List

A=Bones; B=Money; C=Harp; D=Legs; E=Eyes; F=Lemon; G=Killer; H=Hips;

I=Lips; J=Fingers; K=Boy; L=Liver; M=Gumbo; N=Foot; O=Mama; P=Back;

Q=Duke; R=Dog; S=Bad Boy; T=Baby; U=Chicken; V=Pickles; W=Sugar;

X=Cracker; Y=Tooth; Z=Smoke

Third List

A=Jackson; B=McGee; C=Hopkins; D=Dupree; E=Green; F=Brown; G=Jones;

H=Rivers; I=Malone; J=Washington; K=Smith; L=Parker; M=Lee; N=Thompkins;

O=King; P=Bradley; Q=Hawkins; R=Jefferson; S=Davis; T=Franklin; U=White;

V=Jenkins; W=Bailey; X=Johnson; Y=Blue; Z=Allison

(thanks for the link, Linus!)

If spellin' ain't your strong suit, or if you would rather that The Fickle Finger of Fate dish out your moniker, you can visit the Blues Name Generator and have it auto-magically name you.

Blues not your bag? There's always

Rock Band Name Generator

Boy Band/Girl Band Name Generator

and about a bajillion other name generators.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Red? Black? The safe bet is on brown

In a fundraising effort for Canadian cattle farmers, organizers have invented "Moolette", where a people place bets on numbers on an 18-meter long roulette board. If the cow leaves a "chip" on your number, you win.

Don't tell anyone, but I plan on slipping Elsie some Ex-Lax and betting the whole board.

(via Fark)

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Mirror, Mirror, I look good

What the #@$%? You're made of wood!

Don't miss the Quicktime video link to see the mirror "in action".

(via #!/usr/bin/girl -v3)

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Just "kid"ding

UPDATE to the Baby Ink story posted here on July 8th. Turns out that the whole thing was a hoax. You just know, though, that some moron is thinking, "Hmmm... tattooing my infant! That there's a great idea!"

(via Nuggets)

Friday, July 18, 2003

Typewriter Art

Incredible Fact #1: Paul Smith creates amazingly detailed art using only a typewriter.

Incredible Fact #2: He also creates these pictures using only the top row of the keyboard, namely the keys

Incredible Fact #3: He manages to do this despite the fact he suffers from severe cerebral palsy.

Read a short bio of this interesting artist.

(via Fiendish Is The Word)

Thursday, July 17, 2003

As if Abe didn't look bad enough

A burrito shop in Charlotte, NC saves and scans their customers' Ugly Money.

(via Sarcasmo's Corner)

If you're the type that would rather just find out where your money goes, check out Where's George?

Awww... Pookie just said the cutest thing!

TOKYO, July 16 — After selling 300,000 pet-lovers on the Bowlingual gadget that supposedly translates a dog’s bark into human language, a Japanese toymaker Takara Co. is planning a similar one for cats, the Meowlingual.

Making the cat one must have been much easier, since everything would just translate to "Screw you. I'm a cat."

(submitted by Dave "Hello Kitty" Postma)

Santa Monica Farmer's Market Tragedy

Sad news from Santa Monica, CA. A car plowed through the Farmer's Market at high speed on Wednesday, killing nine and injuring many others. Andy Baio, publisher of the blog Waxy.org, was right there after it happened. Traditional news coverage from CNN, MSNBC (video), ABC News and the local NBC affiliate.

(via Boing Boing)

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Nowhere to go but up...

The 2003 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest (a/k/a the "Dark and Stormy Night" contest) have been announced. The goal is to write the very worst opening sentence for a (non-existent) novel. Some of this year's entries:

Dishonorable Mention: Vile Pun Category

Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues.

Dishonorable Mention: Detective Category

He knew that, at most, he had five seconds left to live, one one-thousand, two one-thousand, the gun barrel pointing at his face like a scolding finger, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, the hired assassin Ricardo¹s grip tightening on the trigger, five white elephantsS SIX white elephants, and then a bright blast of light as he wondered which was really the most accurate way to count five seconds.

Winner: Detective Category

Detective Inspector Mike Norman slipped six fingers into his overcoat pocket, five of them clad in a latex glove and attached to his palm, while the sixth was wrapped in a plastic evidence bag and apparently belonged to the kidnapped pianist Ricardo Moore, or, as it now seemed likely, the kidnapped ex-pianist Ricardo Moore.

Winning entries from previous year available here.

(via GirlHacker)

It Ain't Easy Being Queasy

Fascinating blog of a Medical Examiner intern (you know, like a coroner) and the things he sees in his daily rounds. NOT for the squeamish.

(via #!/usr/bin/girl -v3)

Inside Looking Out

"A day in the life of my mouth" and other pinhole camerawork at Justin Quinn's website.

(via Dru Blood)

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Lunch Cubed

I remember a couple of lunchboxes from my childhood. For a while I had a Six Million Dollar Man one for a while, and a Peanuts one before that. Pretty tame and kinda lame. Lunchboxes are a lot cooler now. Don't believe it? Go to lunchboxes.com. Yeah, they have the standard Power Rangers/ Dora The Explorer thing, but there's also the suitcase lunchbox, Evil Dead lunchbox, Iron Maiden lunchbox, Too Much Coffee Man lunchbox, and my personal fave, the Chinese takeout lunchbox.

More lunchbox fun at Archie McPhee, where you can lunch with cockroaches, Fabulous Fifties Food, and the Jolly Roger.

You know your little girl is growing up when she trades her Care Bears box in for The Sex Pistols...

(lunchboxes.com link via Pop Culture Junk Mail)

Saturday, July 12, 2003

ATTENTION: You must be this pregnant to ride The Deliverator

Patent on a centrifugal device to hasten childbirth. Is this how Dizzy Gillespie got his name?

"Give us 205 mouse-clicks and we'll give you the world"

Today's Front Pages is just that: front pages from over 200 newspapers from around the world. Click and save a few trees.

When Peter Pan Goes Bad

NPR's This American Life is kind of like a blog that just happens to be on the radio instead of on your computer. Hosted each week by Ira Glass, the show is divided into several acts, all revolving around the chosen theme that week. One of their most popular shows was the April 25th, 1997 show entitled "Fiasco!".

If you don't have the time to listen to the entire show (your loss), at least check out Act One. Host Ira Glass began laughing so hard he actually had to turn off his microphone during portions of the interview because of the snorting sounds he was making. (RealPlayer required)

Act One: Opening Night. Writer and TAL Contributing Editor Jack Hitt tells the story of a small town production of Peter Pan in which the flying apparatus smacks the actors into the furniture, in which Captain Hook's hook flies off his arm and hits an old woman in the stomach. By the end of the evening, firemen have arrived and all the normal boundaries between audience and actors have completely dissolved.

Friday, July 11, 2003

It's the Shipping & Handling charges that are gonna kill ya

Extraterrestrial Gift Giving Ideas:



Best Value for your dollar!

So You Want To Learn Japanese?

Don't. Here's why not.

(via Rob's Blog)

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Mosquito-proof Cell Phone

No, you don't swat 'em with it!

Now customers of South Korea's SK Telecom can download a service to their cell phones which generates soundwaves that are undetectable to us two-leggers, but really annoy (as in repel) the skeeters. Cost: 3000 won ($1.36) per download.

(via Boing Boing)

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Baby Ink

Okay, I'm picking my jaw up off the floor now...

There is a chain of tattoo shops in the Pacific Northwest that specializes in tattooing your child. They will tattoo children as young as 6 months when provided with a parent or guardian's consent form. How hard do you think it's gonna be trying to explain to your date why you have a Tinky-Winky tat on your butt at age 30?

(via Weird Links)

UPDATE: Whoops! Looks like the crack(-smoking) investigative journalism team at Information Nation was duped. Snopes has the straight dope here.

Looks boring

But it's not, it's actually hilarious. Trust me, just wait a bit. Home English Home.

(via What The Heck)

Dare to be stupid

Think you did bad on your SAT exams? Relax! You can rest assured you did better than this guy, currently holding the record for the lowest ever Raw Score on the SAT.

Colin Fahey may not be the first 33-year old Ivy League educated Masters degree-holder to retake his SATs, but his goal may be unique: To answer every question incorrectly! Could his future get any brighter??

(via cardhouse)

Leggo My Legos

You can visit the official website of M. C. Escher (not to be confused with this) and take a 3-D virtual ride through some of his best-known drawings: "Waterfall", "Belvedere" and "Ascending and Descending". Video clips vary in size from 2.92 MB to 4.38 MB.

Virtual rides a little too "virtual" for you? You'll be happy to know that someone has created the same Eschers in actual 3-D space... with Legos.

Lego "Waterfall", "Belvedere" and "Ascending and Descending", plus a clever Lego rendition of "Relativity" as well.

(via kottke.org)

Monday, July 07, 2003

Get off my back!

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists.

Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever..

Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you."

Phil Hartman as The Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer - Saturday Night Live

Excerpts from Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer's Day Planner:

1. Remember to download cool new game

2. Pick up a movie or two from Blockbuster

3! IMPORTANT! Find wife, then enter contest.

(thanks to Lou "Cave Goddess" Campbell)

Meet George Jetsam

Hundreds of tons of litter are washed up on the shores of the Outer Hebrides, Scotland, each year - mostly plastic waste from marine industries. The Gulf Stream crosses the North Atlantic Ocean depositing flotsam from all around the globe on the 160 miles of Hebridean shore, mostly beautiful, and otherwise unspoilt, sandy beaches.

www.flotsam.org features a gallery of VR images of marine litter. You are encouraged to help identify flotsam sources, get involved in local beach clean-ups and campaign for responsible disposal of waste by marine industries.

(via Boing Boing)

Thursday, July 03, 2003


"Words are heavy like rocks...they weigh you down. If birds could talk, they wouldn't be able to fly."

— Marilyn, from the TV show 'Northern Exposure.'

We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.

— Del Griffith (John Candy), in the 1987 movie 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.'

"Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I'm grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber."

— Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March 2003.

Get a little air-time today.

(via Sublimate)

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Just throw your hands in the air/ And print like you
just don't care

A Swedish company has come up with a cool new way to print called PrintBrush. The little hand-held printer (about the size of a mobile phone) prints as you move it randomly around on the paper. It can sense and compensate for changes in direction and speed on the fly.

(via Boing Boing)

Saturday, June 28, 2003

The Day The (Imaginary) Music Died

Johnny: Dude! How ya been?! I never thought I'd see you here at a Crucial Taunt concert! I thought you were more into the oldies. You know, Leather & The Suedes kinda stuff.

Murph: Aw, not any more man... I used to listen to all that retro Zack Attack-type music, but tastes change...

Johnny: What about your band? They still together?

Murph: What, Murph & The Magictones? Yeah, you should check us out! We're headlining at the Holiday Inn Armada Room on Fridays and Saturdays. I can get you in on the guest list.

Johnny: I'll have to do that... You hear about The Mosquitos? Playing a gig on a yacht. Freak storm. Lost at sea.

Murph: Get outta here! I always liked Bongo's guitar-playing. And Bingo and Bango sure could sing. Never cared for Irving, though. Saw them when they opened for Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Sheesh, now there's a band that needs to be lost at sea...

Johnny: Hey, bud. I gotta go... Maybe I'll see you at the Barry Jive & The Uptown Five show next week? Rock on!

Fluffy, furry, photosynthesizing Folger's

A.I. a la Twenty Questions. Your answers can help the artificial intelligence engine "learn" so it can play smarter the next time. Looks like it needs a little help in some areas, though. After correctly guessing my "cup of coffee" in 13 questions, it went on to provide some dubious "uncommon knowledge" about a cup of coffee. To wit:

Can you use it at school?   I say No.   Hmmm... I know some college students who would beg to differ

Does it have seeds?   I say Probably.   Yep. Stupid frappuccino seeds. When you're in a meeting, where are you supposed to spit them out??

Is it originally from the Mediterranian?   I say Probably.   What?! I thought coffee came from Canada!

Is it tall? I say Probably.   I've heard of a latte grande, but come on...

Is it originally from Canada?   I say Probably.   What?! I thought coffee came from the Mediterranian!

Does it have eyes?   I say Probably.   "Don't look now Debbie, but I think that Kona decaf is checking you out"

Is it addictive?   I say Probably.   No argument there.

Is it fluffy?   I say Yes.   True, but only in steam form.

Does it have a leafy stalk?   I say Yes.   Also true, but only when served very fresh.

Is it considered man's best friend?   I say Probably.   Mondays at 6 am I know I have strong feelings for it...

Does it exist in other dimensions?   I say Yes.   Still waiting to hear back from Steven Hawking for confirmation on this one.

Can you control it?   I say No.   Damn coffee, just doing whatever it pleases!

Does it photosynthesize?   I say Yes.   Frankly, you may want to consider switching brands.

(via MsCapriKell)

Friday, June 27, 2003

Why don't you do that voodoo that you do so well?

Send a voodoo curse via (what else?) email. Want to see how it works? Send a curse to yourself and find out.

From the Pinstruck website:

W A R N I N G :
Receiving a voodoo curse from PinStruck.com may be upsetting or offensive to some people. Curses are not suitable for recipients under the age of 18.

Think carefully before sending your curse. Some people cannot take a joke. Make sure you respect this.

Voodoo curses sent from PinStruck.com are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Steem, LLC and PinStruck.com do not believe there is any truth to voodoo magic.

(via Sarcasmo's Corner)

The World According To Dr. Bronner

You may not have ever had the good fortune to come across Dr. Bronner's 18-In-One Pure Castile Soaps, as it is sold mostly in health-food stores and does little if any advertising. And you wouldn't be missing out for the reason you think. Sure, it's a great all-natural soap that provides excellent lather, even in the hardest of water, while still being extremely mild on the skin, with lots of glycerin left in to help moisturize. And yes, it comes in refreshing peppermint, almond and eucalyptus varieties, and it isn't animal tested. All these things are true about Dr. Bronner's soaps, and yet that still isn't the reason you should get some. It's the labels, you see...

Don't have time? Here's the short version as explained by Cecil Adams from one of his Straight Dope columns, as well as a small(!) portion of the writings found on the 18-In-One Peppermint Soap quart-size label.

For those of you with the time and/or the bandwidth, here are some of the labels (Peppermint, Almond, Eucalyptus) in all their glory for your own Enrichment-Enlightenment-Enjoyment! Dilute! Dilute! OK!

At the tone, the time will be...

Humanclock.com is a beautifully simple concept: For each of the 1,440 minutes in a 24-hour day, show a different photo of people holding signs, clocks, or some other reference to the exact time. (Hint: If you need to adjust for your time zone, go into the Control Panel and pick the Change Time button.) Geeks looking for a laugh can read about humanclock.com's ultra-high-end webserver (hint: do the words Radio, Shack and Tandy mean anything to you?)

On a tangent, I seem to recall some screensaver(?) with a similar theme. I think it was a collection of photos of a cityscape (NYC skyline?), all taken from the same spot throughout a 24-hour day. As the day went on, you'd see the corresponding changes in the screensaver. Anybody remember something like this or know where I could find it?

(via Bifurcated Rivets)

While You Were Sleeping

Some awesome nighttime photos by Larrie Thompson. He sometimes uses special lighting techniques to get just the right feel for a particular shot. Check out the galleries to see what you've been missing while you snooze.

(via J-Walk)

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Finally, something for the whole family...

...The Manson Family, that is.

From the official website of "Live Freaky, Die Freaky", the upcoming film by independent filmmaker/California punk scene veteran John Roecker:

"It is the year 3069 and the earth has been raped of all its natural resources, destroyed by war and ozone depletion, and is now only a barren desert. The humans who inhabit this empty vessel search not only for food but for a god to save them. Their search will soon be over when Charles Manson returns to save them."

The film will also feature ex-White Zombie bassist Sean Yseult, members of Green Day, AFI and Blink-182 along with "Lord of the Rings" actor Viggo Mortenson. Due out December 2003. Better get in line for those tickets now! Just don't cut in front of the guy with the crazy eyes and the swastika carved on his forehead...

(submitted by "Depraved Dave" Postma)

Monday, June 23, 2003

What's the buzz, Tell me what's a-happening

MR. BURNS: I suggest you leave immediately.

HOMER: Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

Bees need to roam free or they'll turn to a life of crime.


Wuurrggh! Aiiee! Hunnff! It's The Unh! Project.

(via quasimeta)

Something stinks, Sheriff. I think it's your star...

It's the "[plural noun], we don't need no stinking [plural noun]!" website

(via Fiendish Is The Word)

Friday, June 20, 2003

All I need to win is a "paradigm" or a "Win-Win"!

Spice up your next interminable business meeting by playing Buzzword Bingo.

(BUZ.wurd bing.go) n. A word game played during corporate meetings. Players are issued bingo-like cards with lists of buzzwords such as paradigm and proactive. Players check off these words as they come up in the meeting, and the first to fill in a "line" of words is the winner.

Print your own using bingo card generators for business, eBusiness and Wired Business. Another card generator is at BetterWorkplaceNow .

Have fun! It's a win-win! Hey! Bingo!!

Also worthy of a visit is The Word Spy, where you can catch up on the latest emerging jargon such as Generation XL , heroinware or cat typing.

(via Circadian Shift)

Thursday, June 19, 2003

What is the sound of one man scratching?

It is the sound of the human beatbox. Tutorials, audio, videos. Learn how to scratch more than just ya' fleas.

(Via Memepool)

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

It is the sound of giving your own bad self a high-5.

(Via J-Walk)

Sour neighbor

You've got to have a pretty pathetic life if you find it necessary to call the cops to shut down your 6-year-old neighbor girl's lemonade stand.

Got Advil?

Hardheaded Woman

Hardheaded Man

(Via Information Junk)

It's raining men

At least it is at this San Francisco mall.

(Via Jim Romenesko's Obscure Store and Reading Room)

Decisions, Decisions...

A lunatic is cutting off your arms.

A. Chain saw

B. Circular saw.

Moral dilemmas, etc at You Must Choose.

PS. I went for the circular saw. Cleaner cut, ya know...

(Via B3ta)

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Unfortunate URLS

Perfectly legitimate businesses with perfectly regrettable web addresses. All of these sites are SFW (safe for work)








And finally, some guys that must have finally wised up, since they are no longer active:

The Lumberman's Exchange, which for a while was at http://www.lumbermansexchange.com and Experts Exchange, who decided that http://www.expertsexchange.com maybe wasn't such a hot URL after all...

(via Metafilter and dutchbint.org)

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

365 Odd Ones

From the FAQ for The 365 Days Project:

For the entire year of 2003 (January 1st to December 31st) this site will feature one mp3 file (every day) to download. Listeners of the incredibly strange and outsider realm take note, for this is the majority of material that will be made available. Obscure (and for the most part out-of-print) recordings will be the primary focus.

Give a listen. What's your favorite day? What's on your birthday?

Going in circles

A nice little time-waster for your Tuesday afternoon. (Scroll down a bit if you want to bypass the geek stuff)

Monday, June 16, 2003

Available in the dairy case on a street corner near you

Hometown Favorites... where the jam jars are wearing little fishnet stockings.

(hijacked from a post by Blinky The Shark at alt.fan.cecil-adams)

Speak softly and carry a big tire iron

In the spirit of team-building and corporate togetherness, our IT department is having some kind of sports-themed competition this Friday. No specifics yet on what will be involved, but I foresee our team dominating the competition. Of course, in-house email the past few days has been nuthin' but trash-talk. Most of it from the over-hyped Team Dirty Rotten Cheaters. (I hear they cheat!)

More details as they become available, but if you would like, feel free to make a generous donation to Team Trunk Monkeys!

[NOTE: Of course, I'm not really looking for money. Link goes to a non-profit "click to donate for free" website. Help 'em out, why dontcha?]

How much is inside?

Cockeyed.com is an incredibly useful site. Especially if you need to know any of the following...

...how many O's are in a box of Cheerios? (from the amazing How Much Is Inside? section)

...how to used light bulbs to light cigarettes ((from Science Club Episodes)

...how to pull off clever pranks like the menu board switcheroo, high-profile sculpture replacement and my personal favorite, fake Google contest entries. (from Pranks)

IQ is a variable, but SneakyCheapness is a constant

"If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it." -- Stanley Garn

There are about a gajillion IQ tests out there on the web, and the other night I decided to try a few of them to see what kind of range of scores I'd get. Out of the three I took, the results ranged pretty dramatically. Of course, almost every site offering an IQ test has a disclaimer that IQ tests in general are only one way to measure what may be considered "intelligence", and that the test will only give you a ballpark estimate of your IQ. Some people considered very intelligent do very poorly in standardized tests, etc, etc etc...

Results in a minute, but first let me get into some specifics for the three tests I ended up taking.

Tests were found by plugging the terms IQ TEST into Google. The three I chose were pretty much at random. Two of the tests were timed, one was not. One specifically said not to use pencil and paper, the other two didn't mention either way, so I felt it was acceptable to use a pencil and paper for those two.

So, here's my results, in the order the tests were taken:

Test #1:   Timed (15 minutes/ 30 questions). Paper/pencil not specifically forbidden. Used for two questions  Score: 131

Test #2:   I took IQ Test #1 Not timed. Took me the longest, though it had by far the fewest questions (20). Seemed much harder than the others. Used pencil/paper extensively)Score: 112

Test #3 :   Timed (13 minutes/ 38 questions) Paper/pencil not allowed.   Score: 160 Woohoo! All of a sudden I'm Einstein!

Needless to say, web IQ tests can vary wildly in their results. Take with a grain of salt large enough to raise your blood pressure 20 points...Many, many other IQ tests available here.

Your SneakyCheapness quotient, however, is an inarguable constant.   No paper, no pencil, no trains leaving stations at 60 mph in opposite directions. Nothing required but honest answers.   My SneakyCheap score: 168 (It was stealing milk crates that killed me)

Did anyone notify Waylon?

It's official. The Hatfields and McCoys have stopped feuding, making the lyrics to "Luckenbach, Texas" as obsolete as bloomers.

Let's go to Luckenbach, Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys

This successful life we're livin' got us feudin' like the Hatfields and McCoys

Between Hank Williams' pain songs and Newbury's train songs

And blue eyes cryin' in the rain

Out in Luckenbach, Texas ain't nobody feelin' no pain

(via Ishbadiddle)

Friday, June 13, 2003

This post is worth 0.05 pictures

Fellow blogger Bonnie left a comment in an earlier post asking me to check out a site she thought would be right up my alley.

Slight understatement there.

Lots of amazing photography and tons of Photoshop phunnies at Worth 1000, like Celebrity Day Jobs and Urban Legends.

Go Ghoti!

Ghoti = fish

You know the old saw about how ghoti can be pronounced fish? Say the "gh" as in rough or laugh, "o" as in women, "ti" as in nation or potion. Supposed to show what an insanely confusing language English can be to learn.

I came across this great poem today called "The Chaos", which apparently has been floating around the web for some time now. The poem is not attributed, but I saw it at Rachel Lucas's blog.

I have since found it in numerous other places, sometimes with this appended:

English is tough stuff.

While most of you non-native speakers of English speak English quite well, there is always room for improvement (of course, the same could be said for every person for any subject, but that is another matter). To that end, I'd like to offer you a poem. Once you've learned to correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

If you find it tough going, do not despair, you are not alone: Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.