Now it can be told...

A really clever little movie on... typefaces?! Cute and funny.

(via House Arrest)

Death By Caffeine

How many cans of {your favorite caffeinated soft drink} does it take to kill you?

(via House Arrest)

Hello My Name is: Curly Bones McGee

Follow the instructions below for the genuine thrill that comes with discovering your blues name:

From the first list, take the name using the initial of your first name.

From the second list, do the same with your middle name. From the third, your surname.

First List


A=Fat; B=Muddy ; C=Crippled; D=Old; E=Texas; F=Hollerin'; G=Ugly; H=Brown;

I=Happy; J=Boney; K=Curly; L=Pretty; M=Jailhouse; N=Peg Leg; O=Red;

P=Sleepy; Q=Bald; R=Skinny; S=Blind; T=Big; U=Yella; V=Toothless;

W=Screamin'; X=Fat Boy; Y=Washboard; Z=Steel-Eye

Second List


A=Bones; B=Money; C=Harp; D=Legs; E=Eyes; F=Lemon; G=Killer; H=Hips;

I=Lips; J=Fingers; K=Boy; L=Liver; M=Gumbo; N=Foot; O=Mama; P=Back;

Q=Duke; R=Dog; S=Bad Boy; T=Baby; U=Chicken; V=Pickles; W=Sugar;

X=Cracker; Y=Tooth; Z=Smoke

Third List


A=Jackson; B=McGee; C=Hopkins; D=Dupree; E=Green; F=Brown; G=Jones;

H=Rivers; I=Malone; J=Washington; K=Smith; L=Parker; M=Lee; N=Thompkins;

O=King; P=Bradley; Q=Hawkins; R=Jefferson; S=Davis; T=Franklin; U=White;

V=Jenkins; W=Bailey; X=Johnson; Y=Blue; Z=Allison

(thanks for the link, Linus!)

If spellin' ain't your strong suit, or if you would rather that The Fickle Finger of Fate dish out your moniker, you can visit the Blues Name Generator and have it auto-magically name you.

Blues not your bag? There's always

Rock Band Name Generator

Boy Band/Girl Band Name Generator

and about a bajillion other name generators.

Red? Black? The safe bet is on brown

In a fundraising effort for Canadian cattle farmers, organizers have invented "Moolette", where a people place bets on numbers on an 18-meter long roulette board. If the cow leaves a "chip" on your number, you win.

Don't tell anyone, but I plan on slipping Elsie some Ex-Lax and betting the whole board.

(via Fark)

Mirror, Mirror, I look good

What the #@$%? You're made of wood!

Don't miss the Quicktime video link to see the mirror "in action".

(via #!/usr/bin/girl -v3)

Acid-trip minus the acid?

Wow. Just...wow.

(via everlasting blort)

Funnier Living Through Chemistry

Molecules with silly or unusual names

The Periodic Table of Dessert

Just "kid"ding

UPDATE to the Baby Ink story posted here on July 8th. Turns out that the whole thing was a hoax. You just know, though, that some moron is thinking, "Hmmm... tattooing my infant! That there's a great idea!"

(via Nuggets)

Typewriter Art

Incredible Fact #1: Paul Smith creates amazingly detailed art using only a typewriter.

Incredible Fact #2: He also creates these pictures using only the top row of the keyboard, namely the keys
@    
#    
$    
%    
^    
&    
*    
(    
)    
_    

Incredible Fact #3: He manages to do this despite the fact he suffers from severe cerebral palsy.

Read a short bio of this interesting artist.

(via Fiendish Is The Word)

As if Abe didn't look bad enough

A burrito shop in Charlotte, NC saves and scans their customers' Ugly Money.

(via Sarcasmo's Corner)

If you're the type that would rather just find out where your money goes, check out Where's George?

Awww... Pookie just said the cutest thing!

TOKYO, July 16 — After selling 300,000 pet-lovers on the Bowlingual gadget that supposedly translates a dog’s bark into human language, a Japanese toymaker Takara Co. is planning a similar one for cats, the Meowlingual.

Making the cat one must have been much easier, since everything would just translate to "Screw you. I'm a cat."

(submitted by Dave "Hello Kitty" Postma)

Santa Monica Farmer's Market Tragedy

Sad news from Santa Monica, CA. A car plowed through the Farmer's Market at high speed on Wednesday, killing nine and injuring many others. Andy Baio, publisher of the blog Waxy.org, was right there after it happened. Traditional news coverage from CNN, MSNBC (video), ABC News and the local NBC affiliate.

(via Boing Boing)

Nowhere to go but up...

The 2003 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest (a/k/a the "Dark and Stormy Night" contest) have been announced. The goal is to write the very worst opening sentence for a (non-existent) novel. Some of this year's entries:

Dishonorable Mention: Vile Pun Category

Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues.

Dishonorable Mention: Detective Category

He knew that, at most, he had five seconds left to live, one one-thousand, two one-thousand, the gun barrel pointing at his face like a scolding finger, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, the hired assassin Ricardo¹s grip tightening on the trigger, five white elephantsS SIX white elephants, and then a bright blast of light as he wondered which was really the most accurate way to count five seconds.

Winner: Detective Category

Detective Inspector Mike Norman slipped six fingers into his overcoat pocket, five of them clad in a latex glove and attached to his palm, while the sixth was wrapped in a plastic evidence bag and apparently belonged to the kidnapped pianist Ricardo Moore, or, as it now seemed likely, the kidnapped ex-pianist Ricardo Moore.

Winning entries from previous year available here.

(via GirlHacker)

It Ain't Easy Being Queasy

Fascinating blog of a Medical Examiner intern (you know, like a coroner) and the things he sees in his daily rounds. NOT for the squeamish.

(via #!/usr/bin/girl -v3)

Inside Looking Out

"A day in the life of my mouth" and other pinhole camerawork at Justin Quinn's website.

(via Dru Blood)

Lunch Cubed

I remember a couple of lunchboxes from my childhood. For a while I had a Six Million Dollar Man one for a while, and a Peanuts one before that. Pretty tame and kinda lame. Lunchboxes are a lot cooler now. Don't believe it? Go to lunchboxes.com. Yeah, they have the standard Power Rangers/ Dora The Explorer thing, but there's also the suitcase lunchbox, Evil Dead lunchbox, Iron Maiden lunchbox, Too Much Coffee Man lunchbox, and my personal fave, the Chinese takeout lunchbox.

More lunchbox fun at Archie McPhee, where you can lunch with cockroaches, Fabulous Fifties Food, and the Jolly Roger.

You know your little girl is growing up when she trades her Care Bears box in for The Sex Pistols...

(lunchboxes.com link via Pop Culture Junk Mail)

Something smells

Real dog noses

Fake dog noses

Liquid dog noses

(first link via J-Walk)

ATTENTION: You must be this pregnant to ride The Deliverator

Patent on a centrifugal device to hasten childbirth. Is this how Dizzy Gillespie got his name?

"Give us 205 mouse-clicks and we'll give you the world"

Today's Front Pages is just that: front pages from over 200 newspapers from around the world. Click and save a few trees.

When Peter Pan Goes Bad

NPR's This American Life is kind of like a blog that just happens to be on the radio instead of on your computer. Hosted each week by Ira Glass, the show is divided into several acts, all revolving around the chosen theme that week. One of their most popular shows was the April 25th, 1997 show entitled "Fiasco!".

If you don't have the time to listen to the entire show (your loss), at least check out Act One. Host Ira Glass began laughing so hard he actually had to turn off his microphone during portions of the interview because of the snorting sounds he was making. (RealPlayer required)

Act One: Opening Night. Writer and TAL Contributing Editor Jack Hitt tells the story of a small town production of Peter Pan in which the flying apparatus smacks the actors into the furniture, in which Captain Hook's hook flies off his arm and hits an old woman in the stomach. By the end of the evening, firemen have arrived and all the normal boundaries between audience and actors have completely dissolved.

It's the Shipping & Handling charges that are gonna kill ya

Extraterrestrial Gift Giving Ideas:

Good

Better

Best Value for your dollar!

So You Want To Learn Japanese?

Don't. Here's why not.

(via Rob's Blog)

Mosquito-proof Cell Phone

No, you don't swat 'em with it!

Now customers of South Korea's SK Telecom can download a service to their cell phones which generates soundwaves that are undetectable to us two-leggers, but really annoy (as in repel) the skeeters. Cost: 3000 won ($1.36) per download.

(via Boing Boing)

Baby Ink

Okay, I'm picking my jaw up off the floor now...

There is a chain of tattoo shops in the Pacific Northwest that specializes in tattooing your child. They will tattoo children as young as 6 months when provided with a parent or guardian's consent form. How hard do you think it's gonna be trying to explain to your date why you have a Tinky-Winky tat on your butt at age 30?

(via Weird Links)

UPDATE: Whoops! Looks like the crack(-smoking) investigative journalism team at Information Nation was duped. Snopes has the straight dope here.

Looks boring

But it's not, it's actually hilarious. Trust me, just wait a bit. Home English Home.

(via What The Heck)

Dare to be stupid

Think you did bad on your SAT exams? Relax! You can rest assured you did better than this guy, currently holding the record for the lowest ever Raw Score on the SAT.

Colin Fahey may not be the first 33-year old Ivy League educated Masters degree-holder to retake his SATs, but his goal may be unique: To answer every question incorrectly! Could his future get any brighter??

(via cardhouse)

Leggo My Legos

You can visit the official website of M. C. Escher (not to be confused with this) and take a 3-D virtual ride through some of his best-known drawings: "Waterfall", "Belvedere" and "Ascending and Descending". Video clips vary in size from 2.92 MB to 4.38 MB.

Virtual rides a little too "virtual" for you? You'll be happy to know that someone has created the same Eschers in actual 3-D space... with Legos.

Lego "Waterfall", "Belvedere" and "Ascending and Descending", plus a clever Lego rendition of "Relativity" as well.

(via kottke.org)

Get off my back!

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists.

Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever..

Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you." -

Phil Hartman as The Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer - Saturday Night Live

Excerpts from Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer's Day Planner:

1. Remember to download cool new game

2. Pick up a movie or two from Blockbuster

3! IMPORTANT! Find wife, then enter contest.

(thanks to Lou "Cave Goddess" Campbell)

Meet George Jetsam

Hundreds of tons of litter are washed up on the shores of the Outer Hebrides, Scotland, each year - mostly plastic waste from marine industries. The Gulf Stream crosses the North Atlantic Ocean depositing flotsam from all around the globe on the 160 miles of Hebridean shore, mostly beautiful, and otherwise unspoilt, sandy beaches.

www.flotsam.org features a gallery of VR images of marine litter. You are encouraged to help identify flotsam sources, get involved in local beach clean-ups and campaign for responsible disposal of waste by marine industries.

(via Boing Boing)

Supafly

"Words are heavy like rocks...they weigh you down. If birds could talk, they wouldn't be able to fly."

— Marilyn, from the TV show 'Northern Exposure.'

We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.

— Del Griffith (John Candy), in the 1987 movie 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.'

"Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I'm grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber."

— Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March 2003.

Get a little air-time today.

(via Sublimate)

Finally! A cause I can get behind!

Beer For The Homeless

(via Memepool)

Rhyme Scheme

Phoons

Balloons

Cartoons

Spittoons

Big spoons!

(Thanks to Bonnie for the Phoons link)

Just throw your hands in the air/ And print like you
just don't care

A Swedish company has come up with a cool new way to print called PrintBrush. The little hand-held printer (about the size of a mobile phone) prints as you move it randomly around on the paper. It can sense and compensate for changes in direction and speed on the fly.

(via Boing Boing)