Now it can be told...
A really clever little movie on... typefaces?! Cute and funny.
(via House Arrest)
A=Fat; B=Muddy ; C=Crippled; D=Old; E=Texas; F=Hollerin'; G=Ugly; H=Brown;
I=Happy; J=Boney; K=Curly; L=Pretty; M=Jailhouse; N=Peg Leg; O=Red;
P=Sleepy; Q=Bald; R=Skinny; S=Blind; T=Big; U=Yella; V=Toothless;
W=Screamin'; X=Fat Boy; Y=Washboard; Z=Steel-Eye
A=Bones; B=Money; C=Harp; D=Legs; E=Eyes; F=Lemon; G=Killer; H=Hips;
I=Lips; J=Fingers; K=Boy; L=Liver; M=Gumbo; N=Foot; O=Mama; P=Back;
Q=Duke; R=Dog; S=Bad Boy; T=Baby; U=Chicken; V=Pickles; W=Sugar;
X=Cracker; Y=Tooth; Z=Smoke
A=Jackson; B=McGee; C=Hopkins; D=Dupree; E=Green; F=Brown; G=Jones;
H=Rivers; I=Malone; J=Washington; K=Smith; L=Parker; M=Lee; N=Thompkins;
O=King; P=Bradley; Q=Hawkins; R=Jefferson; S=Davis; T=Franklin; U=White;
V=Jenkins; W=Bailey; X=Johnson; Y=Blue; Z=Allison
(thanks for the link, Linus!)
If spellin' ain't your strong suit, or if you would rather that The Fickle Finger of Fate dish out your moniker, you can visit the Blues Name Generator and have it auto-magically name you.
Don't tell anyone, but I plan on slipping Elsie some Ex-Lax and betting the whole board.
(via Fiendish Is The Word)
Making the cat one must have been much easier, since everything would just translate to "Screw you. I'm a cat."
(submitted by Dave "Hello Kitty" Postma)
(via Boing Boing)
Dishonorable Mention: Vile Pun Category
Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues.
Dishonorable Mention: Detective Category
He knew that, at most, he had five seconds left to live, one one-thousand, two one-thousand, the gun barrel pointing at his face like a scolding finger, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, the hired assassin Ricardo¹s grip tightening on the trigger, five white elephantsS SIX white elephants, and then a bright blast of light as he wondered which was really the most accurate way to count five seconds.
Winner: Detective Category
Detective Inspector Mike Norman slipped six fingers into his overcoat pocket, five of them clad in a latex glove and attached to his palm, while the sixth was wrapped in a plastic evidence bag and apparently belonged to the kidnapped pianist Ricardo Moore, or, as it now seemed likely, the kidnapped ex-pianist Ricardo Moore.
(lunchboxes.com link via Pop Culture Junk Mail)
If you don't have the time to listen to the entire show (your loss), at least check out Act One. Host Ira Glass began laughing so hard he actually had to turn off his microphone during portions of the interview because of the snorting sounds he was making. (RealPlayer required)
Act One: Opening Night. Writer and TAL Contributing Editor Jack Hitt tells the story of a small town production of Peter Pan in which the flying apparatus smacks the actors into the furniture, in which Captain Hook's hook flies off his arm and hits an old woman in the stomach. By the end of the evening, firemen have arrived and all the normal boundaries between audience and actors have completely dissolved.
Now customers of South Korea's SK Telecom can download a service to their cell phones which generates soundwaves that are undetectable to us two-leggers, but really annoy (as in repel) the skeeters. Cost: 3000 won ($1.36) per download.
(via Boing Boing)
There is a chain of tattoo shops in the Pacific Northwest that specializes in tattooing your child. They will tattoo children as young as 6 months when provided with a parent or guardian's consent form. How hard do you think it's gonna be trying to explain to your date why you have a Tinky-Winky tat on your butt at age 30?
(via Weird Links)
Colin Fahey may not be the first 33-year old Ivy League educated Masters degree-holder to retake his SATs, but his goal may be unique: To answer every question incorrectly! Could his future get any brighter??
Virtual rides a little too "virtual" for you? You'll be happy to know that someone has created the same Eschers in actual 3-D space... with Legos.
Lego "Waterfall", "Belvedere" and "Ascending and Descending", plus a clever Lego rendition of "Relativity" as well.
Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever..
Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you."
(thanks to Lou "Cave Goddess" Campbell)
www.flotsam.org features a gallery of VR images of marine litter. You are encouraged to help identify flotsam sources, get involved in local beach clean-ups and campaign for responsible disposal of waste by marine industries.
(via Boing Boing)
We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.
— Del Griffith (John Candy), in the 1987 movie 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.'
"Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I'm grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber."
— Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March 2003.
(via Boing Boing)