Whack-A-'Guin

pen·guin   Any of various stout flightless marine birds of the family Spheniscidae, of cool regions of the Southern Hemisphere, having flipperlike wings and webbed feet adapted for swimming and diving, and short scalelike feathers that are white in front and black on the back.

Flightless, huh? My personal bests: 1215.8m sliding, 794.7 landing him beak-first. How did you do?

(Thanks,Bonnie... as if I wasn't unproductive enough)