TRIF (Tattoo Reading Is Fundamental)

[Jesse and Chester have tattoos on their backs that say "dude" and "sweet."]
Jesse: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Chester: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: [angry] "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: [screaming] "Sweet!"
Dude, Where's My Car?

Back in college, I used to think I was fashionable when I wore my T-shirt sporting a big red Chinese character of some kind. That is until my girlfriend pointed out that, me not literate in Chinese and all, for all I knew I could be proudly announcing to the Asian community an affinity for abnormal relations. Okay, what she actually said was, "Gonna wear your 'I [expletive for really, really, really like] dogs' shirt again, huh?" So now whenever I see someone with a tattoo like that, I always wonder if their 'tat really does mean "tranquility and joy" like the artist told them.

Lesson Number 1) Chinese is not English with funnier looking letters
Story of moron who went into tattoo shop and asked that they inscribe his name in Chinese, letter for letter. Since each character is a word, instead of saying "Jeremy", his back now reads "Kung Po karate, martial arts expert, and Shaolin fifth".

Lesson Number 2) Research, research, research
Guy asks artist to tattoo Chinese characters for "Love, honor and obey" on his arm. Gets something slightly different instead.

Lesson Number 3) When someone from work says they know Chinese, don't automatically believe them
A pretty funny practical joke involving a tattoo, Photoshop and... bean curd.