Man, they really are convenient!

.

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[Homer and Apu] walk up to the sliding doors. A bell dings as they enter and approach a man with white hair and a flowing white beard. He drinks a Squishee, and a sign behind him announces, "The Master Knows All (except combination to safe)."

Apu: He is the benevolent and enlightened president and C.E.O. of Kwik-E-Mart -- and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart. He is the one we must ask for my job back.

Master: Approach, my sons. [they do] You may ask me three questions.

Apu: That's great, because all I need is one --

Homer: Are you _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?

Master: Yes.

Homer: Really?

Master: Yes.

Homer: You?

Master: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.

Apu: But I must --

Master: Thank you, come again.

Apu: But --

Master: Thank you, come again.
---from The Simpsons "Homer and Apu"---
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JD: Yeah, well.. I've been moved around all my life. Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas.. Sherwood, Ohio. There's always been a Snappy Snack Shack. Any town, any time.. pop a ham-and-cheese in the microwave and feast on a turbo dog. Keeps me sane.
---Christian Slater's "Jason Dean" in Heathers---
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7-11 has been been offering coffee buyers a choice of filling up either a "Bush" or "Kerry" styrofoam cup, and they've been tracking who "voted" for whom this election season. Turns out their "7-Election" was actually dead-on correct with Bush getting 51% of the java vote to Kerry's 48%. It even gives the breakdown by state and major metro areas.

Hey, here's an idea. In 2008, can we just save all the anxiety, time, effort and money and just get our breaking election news while we're picking up some Corn-Nuts and nuking a turbo dog? I know it'd keep me sane...