Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Facing Facts

Do you wonder why you're always the one getting pulled aside in airports for additional questioning, being asked to remove your shoes, empty your suitcase and prepare for the full body cavity search? No offense, but maybe it's your face, pal.

Submit a pic to Faceanalyzer and it will, uh, you know, like analyze your face and stuff. It claims to have an 87% success rate at identifying your ethnicity, but dances around how it figures out and how well it does on the other characteristics it extracts such as:

  • Intelligence
  • Risk
  • Ambition
  • Income
  • Gay Factor (No, really)
  • Sociability
  • Politeness
  • Honor
  • Promiscuity

The website also gives you a Celebmatch. Basically they tell you which celebrity you look like. Okay, sure.

I'm here looking for a picture of me on my computer and I realize I don't have one. Crap. I've got a few of some friends and co-workers, but I don't know how they'd appreciate me using their pics. Hmmm, what to do?

In an inspired moment I came up with the following compromise: I'll post the following picture of Sir Elton John
elton
and see what the ole' Faceanalyzer deduces about him.

The result? Behold the mighty power of Faceanalyzer!
analysis

Looking at the data, we can see that Elton John is probably Anglo-Saxon in race. (I'm guessing that means they're saying it's a 53% chance he's Anglo) Or mmmayyyybe Chinese (31%). Sheesh, it's Elton John, not El Dung Yong. Go with your first instinct, Faceanalyzer. I guess I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Okay, so let's see what other things we can find out. Here are the characteristics, Faceanalyzer's definition of the characteristic and how they match up with what we know about Mister Yellow Brick Road. Ready?

Intelligence
Intelligence is a general mental capability that involves the ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, and comprehend ideas and language.
Score: 3.6 (out of 10) - Low Intelligence
Verdict: Doubtful
I can't speak directly to Elton John's intelligence, but I do note that he was awarded a scholarship at age 11 to the Royal Academy of Music.



Risk
The higher the risk the more an individual will partake in actions that can result in harm either socially, physically or financially. Gambling and fighting are some examples of risky behavior.
Score: 6.7 (out of 10) - High Risk
Verdict: Maybe
Elton John as a risk-taker not maybe so much in the sense of he's out there jumping buses on a motorcycle, but it was a risky move revealing his homosexuality in 1976 at the height of his musical career to Rolling Stone magazine.



Ambition
Ambition is the desire for achieving material success and the willingness to strive for its attainment. Ambitious people tend to strive for power, honor, fame, and wealth.
Score: 3.8 (out of 10) - Low Ambition
Verdict: No way
Yeah, right. One of the most consistent hitmakers of the 1970s and 80s, with a housefulla platinum albums who continues to earn heaping gobs of cash each time another celebrity dies and he gets to drag out "Candle In The Wind" yet again... yeah, all he really wanted to do was lay on the couch, scarf Cheetos and try and get to the secret Castle level of Super Mario World.



Gay Factor
Gay Factor is a sexual orientation characterized by sexual desire exclusively, or almost exclusively, for people who are identified as being of the same sex.
Score: 1.6 (out of 10) - Very Low Gay Factor
Verdict: Come on
Yep, they pegged this one. There's no way that Elton John is gay. Way to call it, Faceanalyzer!



Honor
Honor constitutes the reputation, self-perception, and moral identity of the individual and of his/her group. Honorable people value self-respect and will strive to maintain their and their group's integrity.
Score: 5.0 (out of 10) - Average Honor
Verdict: Unknown
I got nothin'. You win this one by default, Faceanalyzer.



Politeness
Politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette.
Score 3.8 (out of 10) - Low Politeness
Verdict: Score one for Faceanalyzer.
Elton John calls Taiwan cameramen 'rude, vile pigs'
Elton John takes swipe at Madonna
Reggie's Little Moments


Income
Income is the expected average annual income throughout the adult lifetime.
Score 3.8 (out of 10) - $10,000-$30,000 per year
Verdict: Just missed this one...
Elton John only earned a little over $7,000 in 2004. However, that was per hour. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week over the 52 weeks, when he topped the list of British star earners for 2004, beating out The Rolling Stones and pulling in $62 million.



Sociability
Sociability is the extrovertedness of an individual. Sociable people tend to be less fearful of the outcome of interacting with others and more willing to engage others.
Score 5.3 (out of 10) - Average Sociability
Verdict: Unknown
I mean, it's possible to have a flamboyant on-stage persona and be very shy off-stage. Google turns up quite a few hits for Elton John shy. Plus there's this nugget from that beacon of hard-hitting celebrity journalism, 16 Magazine, August 1975.
sixteen_mag




Promiscuity
Promiscuity is the practice of making unselective, casual and spontaneous sexual choices. This means that the individual engages in multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships.
Score 3.2 (out of 10) - Low Promiscuity
Verdict: Seems to be correct
Since he's getting married this December to long-time partner David Furnish, let's hope so.




And lastly, the piece de resistance, the fables CelebMatcher. Gee, what celebrity does this Reginald Dwight guy kinda look like?

Hmmm. Oh, hey! I know!

celebmatch

(via WFMU's Beware of the Blog)

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