Sunday, July 29, 2007


How Swearing Works. No, really. There's more to it than you may think. Especially entertaining was this sidebar in the article about some "alternative swear words" used in the offices which, aside from the expected "Darnit!" and "Shoot!" included such interesting choices as "Funky Tut!", "Jeezy Creezy!" and "Zip-zap!". I must confess I'm not really clear on what "Zip-zap" is replacing. Anyone with a richer cussin' vocabulary than I care to edu-macate me?

Perhaps the least offensive swearing ever: Qbert cussing
(totally SFW, contains no actual swearing)

Cuss #1 (%*#!?)

Cuss #2 (*!!#$@)

Cuss #3 (**!!*@##)

If you'd rather make little Q*Bert swear on your own, you can play this Flash version of the classic arcade game yourself. Actually, after you try the game and find out just how hard it can be to make your brain translate the up, down, left and right arrows used to control him into the actual direction he moves (diagonally up left, diagonally down left, diagonally up right, diagonally down right), you'll probably be swearing more than him.

The Swear Jar, a viral video for Bud Lite.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

Girls On Film (two minutes later)

Square America hosts beautiful old photo galleries of sleeping people, terrified kids, people in love or the oddly poignant intentionally defaced photos.

I think actually my favorite section are the galleries of snapshots from those Insta-Photo booth places. You know the kind I mean, where you could get several of those little two-by-three inch photos on a roll for a quarter? Everyone was always so serious and stiff for those family portraits and all, where the whole clan dressed up in their Sunday finest, no one could move and everyone looked like they would rather be doing just about anything else.

These, though, are the polar opposite. No one's worried if someone's a little out of frame or if the picture comes out a little blurry. Hey, it's only a quarter! It's just really nice to see people as they really were at that instant, loose and relaxed, out having fun and actually smiling! I should confess that I browsed through those with a big, dopey grin on my face, too. Who knows, I may have even been a little bit out of focus. (via PCL LinkDump)

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

To Ghostface Killah Mockingbird

Multitudinous amounts of entries for Booking Bands, a contest to suggest the best name-of-a-book/name-of-a-band mashup, some from the editors of Coudal Partners and some from their (insanely creative) readers.

Some of the ones that made me grin:

All Quiet Riot on the Western Front
The Three Musketeers for Fears
Charlie Daniels and the Chocolate Factory
Horton Hears a Hoobastank

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

You can TUN3R radio, but you can't TUN3R fish

No matter how funky your musical tastes may run, chances are that has an internet radio stream to ring your proverbial bell, with what must be a couple thousand links, searchable by format, language and station name. You can type in a song title or artist name and see if any station has posted it on their playlists. The unique interface lets you drag the crosshairs to any place you want or you can just throw caution to the winds and click the "Random" button, where you could land on anything from 1970's Country to one of four stations broadcasting in Esperanto, of all things.

There are some caveats. The initial feed you hear is a two-minute sample of so-so quality that TUN3R has grabbed sometime recently, which keeps them on the right side of copyright & "fair use" laws. If you would like to listen to any particular feed live, then you will want to click on the big green "TUN3 IN" button. (via J-Walk)

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Monday, July 23, 2007

Prison Zombies!

Michael Jackson's "Thriller" by 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines. Comments welcome about how these guys have "way too much time" (25-to-life?) on their hands. (via The Presurfer)

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

Pleased To Meet Me

Homer's worst fake name ever

Again, but in French. Interesting? Mais oui!

This find was languishing in my unfinished drafts, but when I popped over to Lifehacker, I saw they had mentioned it, so it renewed my interest... Fake Identity Generator gives you as many fictitious identites as you want, with not only a fake name, but fake snail and email addresses, a randomly generated birthdate, mother's maiden name, fake phone number and fake credit card number! From now on you can refer to me as:

Bruce K. Butler
885 Harley Vincent Drive
North Bloomfield, OH 44450

Email Address:

Phone: 440-685-4347
Mother's maiden name: Marshall
Birthday: May 8, 1969

MasterCard: 5512 9670 2804 6027
Expires: 4/2009

SSN: 289-88-4214

You may have forgotten just how hilariously goofy of a movie A Fish Called Wanda was. Of course, the best part was the Kevin Kline character Otto, he of the short fuse but long list of profanities. One of my favorite moments is when Otto is trying pass himself off as a CIA operative. He starts out okay, "I'm Harvey Manfred.." but kind of seems unable to stop, "...jensonton".

That particular section comes about 30 seconds into this great collection of Otto Moments from A Fish... As I mentioned, Otto's language is a tad on the, er, "salty" side. Best shepherd Great Gramma Erma out of the room 'fore you unleash the awesome vulgarianism of Otto.

The Best of Otto in A Fish Called Wanda

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Give us 12 minutes and we'll give you dozens of self-inflicted injuries

The Internet Reposted is a 12-minute conglomeration of some of the strangest, funniest, sickest and memorable-est video culled from the cultural middens we lovingly refer to as The Interwebz.

WARNING: Some of this video contains pretty violent and/or really stupid activity (think America's Funniest Home Videos on crank). Learn from their mistakes, kids. That's what separates us from the animals. Well, that and a disturbing propensity to hold lit firecrackers in our teeth, perform ill-advised motorized-vehicular stunts and the like.

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I'll give you two Epsteins and a Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington for your "Up your nose with a rubber hose" Barbarino. No, you can keep your Horshack...

The Worst Trading Cards Ever Parts One and Two (via Other Crap)

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

I'm with the (rubber)band

Huge rubber band gun experiment on Japanese TV.

Lego rubber band chaingun fires 11 rounds/second.

Don't have a Lego set or a crew of Japanese workers to close down the highway while you attempt to shoot giant rubber bands over it? Here's the ultimate in low-tech: explains how to turn your hand into a rubber band gun.

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Head over heels

East is west, left is right,
Up is down, and black is white,
Inside-out, wrong is right,
It's back to front and I'm all uptight.
The Kinks - "Back To Front"

This takes a few seconds to grasp, but the effect is startling. Planet Earth Inversed (water where land should be, and vice versa)

Another way to look at the world. A collection of Upside-Down Maps.

On maps, why is North always up?


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Friday, July 13, 2007

So mathematically, Spin Doctors were twice as good as Lipps, Inc.

There's only two songs in me
And I just wrote the third
Don't know where I found the inspiration
Or how I wrote the words
Spent my whole life just diggin' up
My music's shallow grave
For the two songs in me
And the third one I just made
They Might Be Giants - "Number Three" (1986)

Consider the One Hit Wonder. If you put your mind to it, you can probably name a good dozen without breaking a sweat. Tiny Tim implored you to tiptoe through the tulips with him (1968), Nena released her 99 Luftballoons (1984), Tommy Tutone found Jenny's number on the wall (1982), and those Baha Men kept querying everyone in earshot if they were guilty of releasing the hounds (2000). Everybody has a favorite OHW that they still can't believe never made it bigger (where are you now, Donnie Iris?) and a whole bunch they can't believe even got the one hit (Bruce Willis? Really? Him?)

There are oodles of websites (try, TV specials, books, numerous One Hit Wonder CD's... No doubt for some of these folks, not having any more hits was perhaps the best thing that could have happened to them.

But you know who never has inspired a William Shatner-hosted countdown special? The Two Hit Wonder. The band who managed to squeak just one more onto the Top 40 charts before slinking off into oblivion, well-deserved or otherwise.

Let's take just a moment to give some love for the likes of Chilliwack, Wet Willie, Snow and the rest who had the misfortune to not be unsuccessful enough.

Another interesting concept, though it could use a little more meat on its bones, so to speak, is this One Hit Wonder/YouTube/Google Maps mashup, showing you some (sadly, with only 14 at this time, I was hungry for more) OHWs, plus where they were from and a video of their hit. Keep adding more, guys!

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Friday, July 06, 2007

Fizzy, fuzzy, big & buzzy

Wile away your summer afternoons playing a little Alka-Seltzer tag.

  1. Drill a small hole through the center of an Alka-Seltzer tablet
  2. Thread a string through the hole. Make sure the string is long enough to tie around a person's neck so the Alka-Seltzer can be worn as a necklace.
  3. Have lots and lots and lots of water.
As you start chucking water at your opponents, the Alka-Seltzer will react with the water and start foaming away, slowly dissolving, finally falling off the string. Last person with an Alka-Seltzer necklace wins.

Instructables presents How to make carbonated fruit. You're going to be working with dry ice and plastic containers under pressure here, kids. Follow all appropriate safety precautions, i.e., don't be a dumbass.

September 6, 1984 - Letterman dons the Alka-Seltzer Suit

Dig this if you will, man... "The Candy Man" extols the virtues of the ole' Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.

Apparently Alka-Seltzer felt their original "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz/ Oh what a relief it is..." jingle needed some updating (listen to the original jingle), putting on some sort of American Idolesque Battle of the Bands to see who could come up with the best updated jingle. The best corporate whore winner turned out to be someone named Josh Anderson, whose effort is likely to one day take its rightful place in the pantheon of Rock. Or Country. Or Commercial Shill Pop, or whatever the heck this guy is categorized under.

You can view the video of him performing his jingle *ahem* "live" in front of a creepy audience of Twenty-something hipsters. Not creepy because they're Twenty-something hipsters, but creepy because they are all sporting glass of fizzing Alka-Water (perhaps made from leftover bongwater, I am not sure). Glass containers? At a concert event? Glass? I think not. Generally concert venues are a bit hesitant to arm their audience with missiles capable of shattering against the performer's ginormous, Cro-Magnon-looking dome.

Looking past the glass thing, it's really unsettling the way everyone is standing there all glassy-eyed and doubtless working under a serious carbon dioxide buzz, looking like a pack of Stepford Kids.

And, come on... Is this your chief demographic, Alka-Seltzer? The 23-to-28 year old crowd? Really?? These people are not your bread and butter, Seltz... These kids can binge drink Irish Car Bombs until 4:30am, sleep 'til 3 the next afternoon (it's cool 'cause their boss at the CD store was out getting hammered with them) and shrug it off with a couple of Red Bulls.

No, Alky, this... this is your target audience:

The "I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing" Guy! You hit the nail on the head when you ran this 70's campaign... Guys who have had a few extra decades of abusing their digestive tract and are now paying the price for their gastric indiscretions, not these babies with their bulletproof bellies.

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Sunday, July 01, 2007

The first attempt, using a warthog gnawing on a decomposing rat carcass while straddling a tuba... not so much

Upside-down hamster + popcorn + piano = cute to the nth degree (via Cynical-C)

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Next up: the National Budget

Lovely photoset called Balance (via J-Walk)

How to build your own self-balancing electric-powered unicycle. How to keep from looking like a complete tool while riding same unicycle is your own problem.

Balance - the game. Attach ever more items to your contruction while keeping it all balanced.

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