How Swearing Works. No, really. There's more to it than you may think. Especially entertaining was this sidebar in the article about some "alternative swear words" used in the HowStuffWorks.com offices which, aside from the expected "Darnit!" and "Shoot!" included such interesting choices as "Funky Tut!", "Jeezy Creezy!" and "Zip-zap!". I must confess I'm not really clear on what "Zip-zap" is replacing. Anyone with a richer cussin' vocabulary than I care to edu-macate me?
Perhaps the least offensive swearing ever: Qbert cussing (totally SFW, contains no actual swearing)
If you'd rather make little Q*Bert swear on your own, you can play this Flash version of the classic arcade game yourself. Actually, after you try the game and find out just how hard it can be to make your brain translate the up, down, left and right arrows used to control him into the actual direction he moves (diagonally up left, diagonally down left, diagonally up right, diagonally down right), you'll probably be swearing more than him.
I think actually my favorite section are the galleries of snapshots from those Insta-Photo booth places. You know the kind I mean, where you could get several of those little two-by-three inch photos on a roll for a quarter? Everyone was always so serious and stiff for those family portraits and all, where the whole clan dressed up in their Sunday finest, no one could move and everyone looked like they would rather be doing just about anything else.
These, though, are the polar opposite. No one's worried if someone's a little out of frame or if the picture comes out a little blurry. Hey, it's only a quarter! It's just really nice to see people as they really were at that instant, loose and relaxed, out having fun and actually smiling! I should confess that I browsed through those with a big, dopey grin on my face, too. Who knows, I may have even been a little bit out of focus. (via PCL LinkDump)
Multitudinous amounts of entries for Booking Bands, a contest to suggest the best name-of-a-book/name-of-a-band mashup, some from the editors of Coudal Partners and some from their (insanely creative) readers.
Some of the ones that made me grin:
All Quiet Riot on the Western Front The Three Musketeers for Fears Charlie Daniels and the Chocolate Factory Horton Hears a Hoobastank
No matter how funky your musical tastes may run, chances are that TUN3R.com has an internet radio stream to ring your proverbial bell, with what must be a couple thousand links, searchable by format, language and station name. You can type in a song title or artist name and see if any station has posted it on their playlists. The unique interface lets you drag the crosshairs to any place you want or you can just throw caution to the winds and click the "Random" button, where you could land on anything from 1970's Country to one of four stations broadcasting in Esperanto, of all things.
There are some caveats. The initial feed you hear is a two-minute sample of so-so quality that TUN3R has grabbed sometime recently, which keeps them on the right side of copyright & "fair use" laws. If you would like to listen to any particular feed live, then you will want to click on the big green "TUN3 IN" button. (via J-Walk)
Michael Jackson's "Thriller" by 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines. Comments welcome about how these guys have "way too much time" (25-to-life?) on their hands. (via The Presurfer)
This find was languishing in my unfinished drafts, but when I popped over to Lifehacker, I saw they had mentioned it, so it renewed my interest... Fake Identity Generator gives you as many fictitious identites as you want, with not only a fake name, but fake snail and email addresses, a randomly generated birthdate, mother's maiden name, fake phone number and fake credit card number! From now on you can refer to me as:
Bruce K. Butler 885 Harley Vincent Drive North Bloomfield, OH 44450
Phone: 440-685-4347 Mother's maiden name: Marshall Birthday: May 8, 1969
MasterCard: 5512 9670 2804 6027 Expires: 4/2009
SSN: 289-88-4214
You may have forgotten just how hilariously goofy of a movie A Fish Called Wanda was. Of course, the best part was the Kevin Kline character Otto, he of the short fuse but long list of profanities. One of my favorite moments is when Otto is trying pass himself off as a CIA operative. He starts out okay, "I'm Harvey Manfred.." but kind of seems unable to stop, "...jensonton".
That particular section comes about 30 seconds into this great collection of Otto Moments from A Fish... As I mentioned, Otto's language is a tad on the, er, "salty" side. Best shepherd Great Gramma Erma out of the room 'fore you unleash the awesome vulgarianism of Otto.
The Internet Reposted is a 12-minute conglomeration of some of the strangest, funniest, sickest and memorable-est video culled from the cultural middens we lovingly refer to as The Interwebz.
WARNING: Some of this video contains pretty violent and/or really stupid activity (think America's Funniest Home Videos on crank). Learn from their mistakes, kids. That's what separates us from the animals. Well, that and a disturbing propensity to hold lit firecrackers in our teeth, perform ill-advised motorized-vehicular stunts and the like.
Don't have a Lego set or a crew of Japanese workers to close down the highway while you attempt to shoot giant rubber bands over it? Here's the ultimate in low-tech: WikiHow.com explains how to turn your hand into a rubber band gun.
East is west, left is right, Up is down, and black is white, Inside-out, wrong is right, It's back to front and I'm all uptight. The Kinks - "Back To Front"
This takes a few seconds to grasp, but the effect is startling. Planet Earth Inversed (water where land should be, and vice versa)
There's only two songs in me And I just wrote the third Don't know where I found the inspiration Or how I wrote the words Spent my whole life just diggin' up My music's shallow grave For the two songs in me And the third one I just made They Might Be Giants - "Number Three" (1986)
Consider the One Hit Wonder. If you put your mind to it, you can probably name a good dozen without breaking a sweat. Tiny Tim implored you to tiptoe through the tulips with him (1968), Nena released her 99 Luftballoons (1984), Tommy Tutone found Jenny's number on the wall (1982), and those Baha Men kept querying everyone in earshot if they were guilty of releasing the hounds (2000). Everybody has a favorite OHW that they still can't believe never made it bigger (where are you now, Donnie Iris?) and a whole bunch they can't believe even got the one hit (Bruce Willis? Really? Him?)
But you know who never has inspired a William Shatner-hosted countdown special? The Two Hit Wonder. The band who managed to squeak just one more onto the Top 40 charts before slinking off into oblivion, well-deserved or otherwise.
Let's take just a moment to give some love for the likes of Chilliwack, Wet Willie, Snow and the rest who had the misfortune to not be unsuccessful enough.
Another interesting concept, though it could use a little more meat on its bones, so to speak, is this One Hit Wonder/YouTube/Google Maps mashup, showing you some (sadly, with only 14 at this time, I was hungry for more) OHWs, plus where they were from and a video of their hit. Keep adding more, guys!
Wile away your summer afternoons playing a little Alka-Seltzer tag.
Drill a small hole through the center of an Alka-Seltzer tablet
Thread a string through the hole. Make sure the string is long enough to tie around a person's neck so the Alka-Seltzer can be worn as a necklace.
Have lots and lots and lots of water.
As you start chucking water at your opponents, the Alka-Seltzer will react with the water and start foaming away, slowly dissolving, finally falling off the string. Last person with an Alka-Seltzer necklace wins.
Instructables presents How to make carbonated fruit. You're going to be working with dry ice and plastic containers under pressure here, kids. Follow all appropriate safety precautions, i.e., don't be a dumbass.
September 6, 1984 - Letterman dons the Alka-Seltzer Suit
Dig this if you will, man... "The Candy Man" extols the virtues of the ole' Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Apparently Alka-Seltzer felt their original "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz/ Oh what a relief it is..." jingle needed some updating (listen to the original jingle), putting on some sort of American Idolesque Battle of the Bands to see who could come up with the best updated jingle. The best corporate whore winner turned out to be someone named Josh Anderson, whose effort is likely to one day take its rightful place in the pantheon of Rock. Or Country. Or Commercial Shill Pop, or whatever the heck this guy is categorized under.
You can view the video of him performing his jingle *ahem* "live" in front of a creepy audience of Twenty-something hipsters. Not creepy because they're Twenty-something hipsters, but creepy because they are all sporting glass of fizzing Alka-Water (perhaps made from leftover bongwater, I am not sure). Glass containers? At a concert event? Glass? I think not. Generally concert venues are a bit hesitant to arm their audience with missiles capable of shattering against the performer's ginormous, Cro-Magnon-looking dome.
Looking past the glass thing, it's really unsettling the way everyone is standing there all glassy-eyed and doubtless working under a serious carbon dioxide buzz, looking like a pack of Stepford Kids.
And, come on... Is this your chief demographic, Alka-Seltzer? The 23-to-28 year old crowd? Really?? These people are not your bread and butter, Seltz... These kids can binge drink Irish Car Bombs until 4:30am, sleep 'til 3 the next afternoon (it's cool 'cause their boss at the CD store was out getting hammered with them) and shrug it off with a couple of Red Bulls.
No, Alky, this... this is your target audience:
The "I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing" Guy! You hit the nail on the head when you ran this 70's campaign... Guys who have had a few extra decades of abusing their digestive tract and are now paying the price for their gastric indiscretions, not these babies with their bulletproof bellies.
